WE COULD BE HEROES JUST FOR ONE DAY

Theo couldn't stop with the giggles. He knew it wasn't a manly description but there was no other term he could use for the rapid laughter coming out of his mouth. He was trying so hard to be quiet too, but he couldn't. With the feather boa and the gold medal he had acquired around his neck he stumbled along to the dorms, pulling Claude along with him.

He didn't really want to go back. It was past curfew and he knew that there was a high chance of them getting caught somewhere deep down. Why didn't they stay out and party all night? But they were almost here now. Hiccuping, giggling and stumbling, for now he felt pretty good. "I mean, I could be an Olympi-hic -ian," he told Claude in as quiet a voice as he could. He doubted how quiet it was. "If I was-hic- if I wasn't so lazy. I could be a swimmer. In beer. Or cocktails. They're so colour-hic-ful. I love them."

Claude attempted to shush Theo as they headed towards the dorms, though it was in vain as when he did try with his finger against his lips and one arm round the boy in an attempt to keep them both standing. He didn't know how Theo managed to acquire the feather boa and medal, but it was so soft and pretty he didn't mind. And the medal was shiny. Shiny was good.

"Seriously, so jealous of your boa," he slurred absent mindedly, though he burst into a fit of giggles when Theo said he could be an Olympian. "Swimming in beer. Oh man. Yes. That'd be amazing. And cocktails are pretty. I feel like I should stick with beer like a real man. Or at least have a really pink cocktail," he thought long and hard about that. "With fruit on the side. Gotta have the fruit. Man we need cocktails. Why don't we have cocktails? Oh my goodness and those tiny umbre-llas," he gushed, stumbling over the word. "That'd be amazing."

Theo nodded enthusiastically as Claude started laughing, before he started laughing too. "Oh gosh, I always - I always wondered what would happen if it started raining, and, and -" The thought just seemed too funny at this time and with this much alcohol in him, and he started laughing so hard that there was hardly any sound being emitted. He couldn't breathe it seemed so funny. The little umbrellas had always fascinated him.

Deciding he was finding it too hard to stand now he lowered himself into a crouching position as he tried to regain his breath, stomach aching from laughing so much, before looking up at Claude. "See, I think I have abs now from that. You know, for when I become an Olympian. They'll be really useful."

Claude began to laugh harder at Theo's unfinished sentence, trying to imagine using the tiny umbrellas in the rain. "Maybe that's why they're there," he managed to get out between laughter. "To keep your drink from getting wet."

He let go of Theo when the boy sat down on the floor, managing to keep himself standing, though he definitely had a drunken sway to his movements. Really though, he drank a fair amount. He didn't know how much, but details weren't important.

"Abs will be very helpful for when you become an Olympian," he staggered slightly, frowning as he tried to think. "Especially if you're swimming. Need lots of muscles. I think I would take...the sport of bouncy-castle-ing," he let out a short giggle. "That should be a sport. Oh! What if it already is? I hope so. I'd join. Definitely."

Oh gosh. That was too funny. Theo gave up on trying to breathe as tears began to stream down his face and he slumped forward into the grass. Once he had regained control, he looked up. "Yes, that could definitely be a possible function," he replied, before rolling onto his back and bursting into giggles again.

"And I'd look hot with -hic- abs, you know," Theo joked, patting his stomach. "Plus the eye candy. Mmmmhic. Swimmers. I'd probably get distracted and lose though." For some reason, he decided to kick his feet in the air, and threw his arms back over his head. "Bouncy-castle-ing? You could do trampolining or something. Or, you know, you could do artistic gymnastics. I'm sure you're veeeeery flexible. And you could twirl a ribbon around you like the prettiest girl -hic- in the whole wide world! Representing France stroke USA, Clarice Delanoir!"

Claude waggled his brows slightly at Theo, standing over him with a drunken sway. "You'd look very sexy. I can't imagine being distracted would help you win, no," he thought about swimmers. He wasn't sure he shared the risk of distraction, not from the male ones anyway.

A look of pure excitement and awe crossed over his face at Theo's suggestion. "Artistic gymnastics. You're a fucking genuis, you know that? Like, seriously dude, you're amazing. And I am very flexible."

As Theo announced his name, Claude did some kind of ballet move, hands above his head pretending to twirl a ribbon round, la-ing away as he danced around with the imaginary ribbon, though he stumbled slightly as he landed from a leap, unable to stop himself going down and ending up laying down on his back, a little bit breathless and feeling laughter bubbling up inside him. "The swimmer and artistic gymnast. We'd get all the golds."

He was going to die here, he knew it. The laughing would render him incapable or starve his lungs of oxygen or force him to choke. Least I'll die happy, Theo thought as he spiralled into more laughs, singing along a spur of the moment tune of "boops" and "plinky plinks" before giving a huge applause at the end. "You're just so bendy, Clarice. How do you do that?" he teased.

"I know! I'm a total genius. Why don't I get better grades? But right now I don't have time for grades. I have to focus on my swimming career," Theo finished in a singsong voice as Claude fell over, marking the very end of the routine. He tried to keep a straight face but ended up bursting into impossibly more violent laughter. This was hilarious. "You know what, Claude, Claude, Claudio?" he gasped between giggles. "Everything is so much funnier from the ground."

Claude couldn't stop the laughter at being called Clarice again, though if he was honest he wasn't entirely sure why he was laughing. It wasn't that funny, was it? It probably was. He wasn't sure he could be bothered to care. "Oh, you know, I'm part bendy ruler, so that kind of helps."

"No one has time for grades. Grades are a thing of the past. Swimming is the future!" he turned round in his excitement. "Oh oh oh does this mean you're going to come swimming with me more? I love swimming. Almost as much as I love artistic gymnastics."

"The floor is amazing," Claude agreed, stretching out across it and lying flat. "And so comfy. Can we just sleep here? Though I think I need to go to the little girl's room."

"I'll come swimming with you, sure!" Theo said in a far more excited tone than he normally would have adopted. "Yes yes yes swimming. My vision's swimming. Swimmers mmm. I think I should have a swimmer to keep." He yawned a little, suddenly feeling sleepy. And his vision was swimming a bit. He snorted at the appropriacy of this. Or inappropriacy, was it? He didn't even know.

"So, Claude, I have a plan," Theo announced, putting a hand in the air in front of him and tracing the outlines of some dark cloud overhead. "It's a good plan. It's a marvellous plan. I love that word. We should use it more often. Anyway! My plan! Wait... don't pee on me, okay?" He shook his head, before returning to his prior sentence. "Anyway, the plan. It's a truly wonderful plan." He yawned heavily, before dropping his hand back onto the grass. "Mmm, this grass is comfy. Comfier than bed. Pfft, who needs a bed?" It was very comfy, and Theo was beginning to feel more lethargic. Rolling over onto one side, he shifted into a comfier position. Ahh, he could stay here.

Claude giggled slightly at the fact Theo was going on about swimmers again, thinking it might take a while before he managed to focus enough to actually swim. "Next time I'm swimming I'll keep an eye out for you, shall I?"

He watched Theo's hand as the boy began tracing clouds, waiting eagerly for him to share this master plan of his. Claude let out a chuckle when Theo said not to pee on him, not sure even he was drunk enough to do that. "I won't pee on you."

He turned to look at Theo when the boy trailed off again, giving him a good nudge with his foot. "Hey! What about this plan then? You can't get me all excited for some plan of yours and then fall asleep without telling me what it is! That's just not cool dude. So not cool," he paused for a moment, thinking about to his previous comment. "If you fall asleep without telling me I'm going to pee on you."

Wait? Was he joking? "I'm awake!" he started quickly, pulling his head from the grass as best he could. "Don't pee on me, Claude, or I'll... cry or something. I'll kill you. I'll karate chop you with my front crawl arms."

The plan. What was the plan? The plan had been good. Was it about sleeping here? It might have been. Or getting back in? He grinned as an image popped into his alcohol sodden mind. "Hey Clarice," he said through a yawn. "Show us your artistic gymnastic skills by shimmying up the drainpipe. Hey! The girls windows are open! Could we get in through there and let ourselves in?"

He wasn't sure though, he was pretty comfy where he was. "My swimmer'll carry me to my room," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "And he'll be pretty. And be friends with other swimmers. And girl swimmers too."

Claude laughed at the idea of front crawl being compared to
karate chops. "Oh goodness no please don't hurt me with your front crawl.
Or your tears. Don't cry, it'll cause me so much hurt!"

He was taking the yawn as a sign that they probably had to get inside sometime
soon. It was certainly making him feel a little drowsy. "As tempting as
that sounds, I have a feeling getting caught in the girl's dorms will be worse
than getting caught outside," he frowned, wondering when he began to sober
up enough for logic. That wasn't good. "Though you know, what's a little
life without risk?"

"As much as it would be wonderful to see you with all of your delightful
swimmers and pick at your leftovers, I don't see anyone else but me, and I'm
not sure I love you enough to carry you. Or at least I'm not sober enough to
carry you. Do you think the doors will open if I set the fire alarms off?"

"You deserve to hurt if you pee on me!" Theo yelled dramatically, sniffing, before laughing again. "Seriously. What a bitch."

He thought about this, and shrugged. "Answer to that one? Don't get caught. Or pretend that I'm camp and I'm having a fashion crisis. Which totally wouldn't happen by the way. One, I'm not camp, and two, the girls come to me."

He thought about this plan. Yeah, presumeably they would get let back in. That sounded like a plan. "What do we set on fire?" he asked, grinning, before frowning. "Wait. Hold on. Won't they all be coming out if they think there's a fire? UGH PLAN RUINED."

Oh, all this laughter was definitely considered exersice the amount of strain it was putting on his stomach. He forced himself to calm down slightly though, reminding himself that there were people sleeping that could wake up and get them in trouble.

"Oh no not a fashion crisis! In the middle of the night!" or was it more morning now? "You're not camp in the slightest. Cocktails and fruit and mini-umbrellas are super macho."

"No, no, we've totally got this one," Claude said, determined to make it work. "We just have to like, pretend we fell asleep in these clothes, and that we came out with everyone else. It's totally flawless. Completely fool proof," he glanced at the windows. "Or maybe we should go with the window idea."

"Uh huh, I know, tragedy," Theo said, forcing his face to straighten as he sat up. "I'm really macho, Clarice, more macho than you. I'm a swimmer. You're an artistic gymnast. Maybe it's my name. Maybe I should change it to something macho. Like... Bruce."

The plan was unfolding, and Theo "ohhhhh"-d in realisation, before his face split into a grin. "Do they have CCTV though? Like we might get done for arson and get expelled. Also I've drank so much I might burn with it. But... I think I have some hairspray in my bag - don't say anything, I'm wearing a feather boa. I could strangle you with it and no-one would ever know! They'd just think some crazy pink bird had come and killed you. Do not doubt the feather boas, Claude."

So all they needed was something flammable really. And then Theo had a thought. "For the fire alarms to set off, does the fire have to be inside the building? You know, since the alarms are."

Claude was fairly certain he was just as macho as Theo was. Mostly. He hadn't really ever thought about it before. Though 'Clarice' and 'artistic gymnastics' probably didn't help him. "Bruce the swimmer? Yeah, that totally works. Or Boris. Why do manly names start with B?"

He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face when Theo said he had hairspray, though he didn't say anything. Masculinity secured. "I'm not saying anything," he said in a slightly sing-song tone, pretending to be innocent. "I don't doubt the feather boa for a minute."

"We'll worry about CCTV later. We just need something to set fire to now. Do you have anything in your bag, or do we have to use clothing? Or the feather boa?" he fished around in his pockets. "I know I have a lighter here somewhere-AHA! Here!"

He glanced inside the building at the fire alarm. "Can we use mind control to set off the fire alarm? That way we can't be done for arsen, and we don't have to get the fire inside."

Indrazade was walking through the grounds, giving up looking for where Evangeline had ran off to with her purse after a couple of good hour, when she heard voices come from near the girls dorms. She walked up to them, hoping it would be her sister, but knowing that the voices weren't right.

She saw two lads, one seemingly wearing a feather boa. She walked up to them slowly and gave a loud fake cough, just to get their attention. As she looked closer, she found it easy to tell that both of them were wasted, and that they were both students from the Senior class. "May I ask what you two are doing out?" she asked, trying not to laugh at them both, however tempting it was.

"You have a lighter?" Theo asked, raising his eyebrows, before clutching at his feather boa defensively. "We're not burning my baby. It's my baby. I'll burn your lighter if you burn my baby." But he was right. If only they did have some kind of power to do that. They could set off the alarms, no hassle. Of course, if they'd have got back on time they wouldn't have this hassle at all, but the evening wouldn't have been as good.

He spiralled back into giggles as Claude started to grin, when he heard another voice and stopped promptly, sitting up and turning round. He recognised the woman in front of him, but for some reason he couldn't quite think of her, before it hit him like a tonne of bricks. "Hi, Miss," he greeted, forcing his face straight. "It's kind of a funny story, you know." You see, we blew your money on jello shots.

Whatever he did now, he had to keep focussing on her and not on Claude. He didn't want to end up laughing again when they'd been caught outside. That wouldn't be a particularly good thing to be caught laughing at. Instead he decided to sink his teeth into his lip, blowing his cheeks out as he thought of something to say. "How's your evening been, Miss?"

Claude glanced down at his lighter, shrugging slightly. "I like having a lighter. They're useful. And you know, if you're hanging out with someone who's smoking..." he trailed off, deciding to leave that where it was. "We won't burn your baby, don't worry. Your baby is far too beautiful for flames."

Then there was another voice before he had a chance to say anything else, and he tensed, turning to look at the woman. Oh man they were screwed. He shoved his lighter back in his pocket as quickly as he could, trying to keep a straight fact.

And then Theo asked how her evening had been and he couldn't stop himself from letting out a tiny giggle, trying to stop the smile from breaking through on his face. Really, he just wanted to shove his fist in his mouth.

"Theseus isn't it?" she asked the boy in the feather boa. "A funny story eh, well here is a surprise for you boys, I love funny stories. Maybe I should take you both to my office, so you can tell me this funny story." she warned, her eyebrows raised to a dangerous level.

"Well my evening has been pretty uneventful, until now, thank you Theo." she said a slight grin creeping on her face, however much she tried to suppress it. "May I ask how your's has been, even though I can probably guess." she told them looking directly at the feather boa.

He better not laugh. Ignore Claude ignore Claude ignore Claude ignore Claude ignore Claude, Theo chanted in his head, but it felt even more painful to try and bottle up the laughter than it did to laugh. He figured they'd be screwed if he did laugh though, so he bit harder into his lip.

He was greeted with his full name, and wrinkled his nose, before listening to her words. Oh, oh, office. Offices weren't good. He didn't want to chance an exchange of looks with Claude in case he ended up crying with laughter again. "That's good to hear," he chanced in reply to her evening, trying not to let his voice shake with laughter. "Our evening's been pretty good too, thank you. We played scrabble and listened to classical music. Claude is very good at those spellings." Had Evie and Rhea and Artemis managed to get back in without being caught? Bitches.

Theseus. That was brilliant. Why didn't he call Theo his full name more often? It was a beautiful name. No, be serious Claude. Get your serious face on. This is the headmistress. Who could get you in a lot of trouble. Oh sweet lord office? That was definitely not a place he wanted to be.

"Very good at spelling," he said with a nod. "And it's funny, because I don't even know the alphabet! Ha, haha, get it?" he sighed fondly. "Oh, scrabble. Do love a good game. Are you fond of playing scrabble, Miss?" this whole situation was going to sober him up and he would not be happy about it.