le smoking buddies (Zeus and Lyssa)

Alyssa leveled the cigarette between her lips, her purse in her lap as she tried to find her lighter, but with no such luck.

She was sitting on the bank, the lake water almost reaching up to her knees and she swung them back and forth causing the water to splash around her. It was a bit too cold, not that she'd ever admit that she didn't really like the cold and that she preferred the heat, it felt somehow out of character for her.

There was a noise behind her and she let her self fall back, staring up at the person behind her. "Do you have fire?" she managed out in a mumble, biting down on the cigarette so it wouldn't fall.

"Do I have fire?" Theo grinned as he reached into his pocket and closed his hands around the silver gas case. "Yeah, I do. It's my hand of FLAME." He flipped the zippo open and gave a mock gasp, before gesturing for his companion to pass her cigarette over. "God, I haven't smoked for years, Lyssa. You're getting me back into bad habits!"

He had to say though that he had missed it, which made him feel even worse about it. Though at least they didn't chain smoke. That was probably the one redeeming quality, if it could even be counted as that. "So Lyss, what's new with you? Oh, I have gossip for you too." He wrinkled his nose at his words, before shrugging. "Manly gossip. Totally."

Lyssa removed the cigarette from her mouth. "Of course you always have fire, you're my hero!" she grinned as she sat back up, pulling her legs from the lake so she could turn around to face Theo. She handed him the cigarette. "No one's making smoke." she gave him a look that was quickly replaced a grin as she fished up the package from her pocket. "But it's a shame to let these fine cigarettes go to waste."

She crossed her legs under her and motioned with her head for him to sit down as well, he was too tall when she was standing so he was definitely too tall when she was sitting. "You know me, nothing worth a tale." she grinned at that, more eager to hear his gossip than go on about her own life. "Manly gossip? Of course, for you are the epitome of manliness. Spill then, Zeussie, what kind of scandalous things have you discovered?"

"Oh shut up and pass me a fag," Theo said, taking it from her and pressing it to his lips and inhaling. "And I object to that name. I object to it so very much. Nothing has been more objected to in the history of objections." He took another drag and passed it back before laughing.

"I promise you this shit is good," he told her, dropping down to sit next to her and crossing his legs beneath him. "You know John and Sarah? You know, the we're-not-serious John and Sarah? Apparently they were caught in an RE classroom 'not being serious'." He raised his eyebrows at Alyssa, nodding. "Sarah was giving him 'not serious' head. And then the best bit was right, they get caught, and John says it was an RE practical in which she examines the male genitals because of circumcisions and shit. She then figures he's calling her a slut and slaps him and I can't remember what but Becca said she shouted something like 'of and for the record, hot blond from drsma has a bigger prick than you!'. They've now both got a month of some shitty service and a big bust up to sort out. See, this is why some people are commitment phobic, I'm sure. Priceless."

"I do not accept your objection." Alyssa responded, accepting the cigarette back. "I'm actually quite offended you treat my nickname this way, though I guess if it's the worst you've had it's special and therefor the absolute best. Besides," she grinned. "It suits you. Though I guess Hercules would've worked as well."

She couldn't contain her laughter, which sent her almost falling backward and into the lake. "You're being serious? Oh my God." the mental images drove her into another fit of giggles. "But by admitting his prick is smaller isn't she kind of giving it up that she is a bit of a slut? Not that he wouldn't have deserved a punch anyway for that was perhaps the worst coverup ever. Do you think she's telling the truth, though? I've seen them both in swimwear but I can't quite remember which one… you know," she waggled her eyebrows slightly. "-seemed more gifted. Sarah's way too pretty for John though." she said thoughtfully before exhaling and handing the cigarette back to Theo. It was such a pity that she had never learned to make rings out of her smoke.

"Oh my God, you check the boys out in their swimwear?" Theo said, his grin widening. "Thank God I'm not the only pervert. Although to be honest I don't think I'm as pervy as you. I mean, look at me." He gestured down at himself with a mocking flourish. "I'm so innocent!"

He laughed and took the cigarette back before frowning. "John's not bad looking though. Well, okay, he has got that kind of sadistic smile, but he wears nice clothes. Doesn't that sort of counteract the serial killer element? I mean, at least he looked nice."

Theo grinned at Alyssa's confession. "Hey, wanna see something cool?" he asked, before clearing his throat. Taking another drag of the cigarette, he inhaled, before exhaling through his nose in two long streams of smoke, after which he coughed on the smoke, bending over. "Shit, now I remember why it was I didn't like doing this too much. But there you go. Dragon, innit."

"It's not so much checking and being a pervert more than it's just innocent noticing. I mean, when they're walking about only wearing that… it's hard not to notice, isn't it? Besides, it's a known fact boys check out girls in their swim suits all the time, who is to say we don't check them out back?" she looked at him, rolling her eyes but grinning nothing less. "Yes you are such a sweet little innocent baby boy, really you're like a little freshman. You're just so innocent and fresh!"

"But if he is a serial killer… Sarah's probably first to go. So if she ends up dead somewhere, you know to start running because I mean if he finds out Becca's been spreading rumors and now so have you, he'll go after you two next obviously."

She tilted her head back, watching his show before chuckling and clapping her hands together once he was done. "Oh le magnificent Zeus strikes again!" she reached to take the cigarette from him. "You're so multitalented, just like your namesake, Zeus but he was a bit of a whore. I'm pretty sure he was bisexual though, so cheers." she took a drag before blowing the smoke at his face.

"Death by tolerably good looking guy, I can handle that I suppose," Theo said with a smirk, accepting the cigarette back and wincing as she blew smoke in his face. "God, all I can see is shit. One day they won't need to x-ray my lungs cos they'll just show up through my skin."

He wrinkled his nose at her nickname. "Zeus is not my namesake. Shut up. I mean, I don't technically mind being called the Greek god of all gods, but like, I am not a whore. Fuck off." He grinned and rolled his eyes. "For that, I think I should keep this deathstick!"

He raised his eyebrows curiously as he perched the cigarette between his lips and tilted his head to the side. "He was bi was he? Wicked. We're the best kind of people. I mean, come on. Me, Zeus... you're the only one who lets us down," he added, before flicking a hand through the water and splashing her with it. "Ooops! Slipped!"

"You're so dramatic, you know that?" Alyssa shook her head amused. "You said you hadn't smoked in years, I'm sure your lungs are fine and just happy to meet the cigarette again! I'm sure you've missed smoking so stop being a baby and smoke."

"You've got to admit 'Theseus' looks like Zeus! And if you'd say it like that, which would be the cool way, it makes it sound like The-Zeus! The Zeus! It's meant to be, dude." she grinned widely at him. "Okay, tell me what exactly is wrong with being a whore? Or a slut. Personally I'd go with slut, it's such a nicer word, don't you think?"

She pulled out a new cigarette for herself while grimacing at Theo. "Lend me your lighter, please." she held her hand out for it, before laughing loudly. "Oh, I'm letting you and Zeus down? Does that mean you're accepting him as your namesake then? I think he was bi. Something about him stealing himself a Prince to fuck? I don't know man, at least he was a whore. But probably fit." she gave a little too girly shriek when he splashed her and reached out with her foot to kick him. "Dick! Ugh… If you're so interested in water you might as well be Poseidon instead!"

"Hey, I'm a camp little rich boy with a pretentious name," Theo replied with a smirk. "Drama is like a birth rite." He nodded, leaning back on the heels of his hands. "Anyway. I'm allowed to be dramatic. Otherwise my life would be inexplicably boring and how would I ever express my love to Claude?"

He laughed at her reaction and kicked his foot through the water, splashing her again. "Ooh, Poseidon. He has a trident doesn't he? I could rock a trident. But then I have a lighter on me. That sort of counteracts it. Here, you drowned rat, let me ignite your deathstick!" He stretched the zippo out towards her, clicking down the wheel and grinning.

"Where is your companion anyway? Aren't you two supposedly attached by the hips? Or was it a semi-long umbilical cord that keeps you together? Isn't he the Robin to your Batman? The lightening bolt to your Zeus?" she raised her eyebrows teasingly. "But yeah, you're welcome to be dramatic for all I care, but don't whine while you smoke my cigarette! That's simply rude Theo, rude."

"Are you trying to drown me?" Alyssa demanded, glaring slightly. Once her cigarette had been lit she stood up, walked around Theo and sat down, further away from the water. "You're a bit awful." she shook her head. "So, it's your last year, what scandalous things are you going to do so the fact that you ever went to his school won't be forgotten the second you leave?"

"Dunno. Probably screwing my sister. I think that's his hobby," Theo replied, smirking as she moved to sit the other side of him. "Pfft, this cigarette has my name on it. Plus you should give me another one to make up for the fact that you have a whooooole extra one more than me."

He laughed in response before lying back on the grass. "I don't know really. I'm a very nice, charming, diligent young man who would never dream of scandal. Or something. Any ideas? All of mine so far are pretty mundane. Maybe I fizzled out all my braincells and I need your specialness to come up with stuff." He beamed at her before nudging her in the ribs.

"It's a good thing he's not attached to you while he does that. Imagine how scarring that'd be for you? And awkward for them, trying to find a good position and all." she played with the cigarette box, teasingly. "Oh? You think you deserve another? Aren't you sounding addict-y? I thought you quit."

Alyssa yawned loudly, before giving Theo a pointed look that he was likely to never receive for he was lying down, but she didn't really care. "That's just the ideal description of a boring young man." she corrected him, frowning a little. "And now that you've finally admitted to not having any braincells, or at least not ones that work correctly, I'm sure I can help you."

She took another drag, blowing out the smoke slowly as she thought about it. "Well it's been a long time since someone started up a strip show in Sex Ed, maybe that should be your thing. Your stripper name could be-" she snorted. "-Ha! It could be Zeus."

"I'm not an addict," Theo said in a mock-incredulous voice, before shrugging. "I can't stop though now. Damn you Alyssa. And don't put that mental image in my head! Dear God, my mind."

He rolled his eyes as she teased him, exhaling noisily and taking another drag before throwing the rest of the cigarette into the lake, holding his hand out teasingly for another. "You know you love me?" he said with a grin before kicking his feet up. "Here, listen, speaking of strippers, you know Elliott Jacobs? He got arrested for streaking the other day. Why am I friends with these twats?"

"Is it bad that I like it when my name is partnered up with Damn? It makes me in a twisted way sort of happy." she sighed a little, before grinning. "Oh, you're not into picturing your sister have sex especially if you're attached to the male she's trying to screw? I'm disappointed in you Theo, I would've thought that was your only hobby."

Alyssa rolled her eyes, pulling up another cigarette still and throwing it at him. "You so do not deserve this. But you're the one with the fire, so I guess fair is fair." the mental image that followed Theseus' story made Alyssa choke on her smoke as she giggled. "Oh Gosh, I would've paid to see that. You're friends with them because you know you're one of them? Twats, I mean."

"Oh wow, you're so special," Theo said, prodding her with his foot. "Though I kind of have to agree with you. Wait, no I don't, I'm innocent. Sorry, keep forgetting. What a doughnut."

He cackled as he thought about Elliott streaking, grinning widely. "Well, that's what you get for swinging free round Walmart. I think several elderly women fainted. Several youthful ones too actually." He smirked, lighting up the new cigarette and taking a long drag, ignoring the overwhelming urge he had to cough. "Anyway, my sister wanted a stripper for her birthday, mental child."

He gasped with false indignance, sitting up straight and looking at her. "I can't believe you'd suggest I was a twat. I know better than to strip in the frozen meat aisle and I'd at least make sure I was in a maths classroom rather than an RE one whe- if I was gonna be 'examining someone's genitalia'. God, Lyss. How low do you think I am?"

Alyssa bowed her head a little at being called special. "You know to always agree with me, because I'm amazing and you wish you were as amazing as I am." she grinned. "Innocent people are assholes, don't be one of them. The dark side is better and you know it, besides my side, the dark side has cigarettes and alcohol."

"I'm sure the elder women appreciate the show, they've probably missed perky young meat." Alyssa grinned widely, before taking another drag from her half finished cigarette. "Your sister wanted a stripper? How old is your sister? Actually, never mind that, better question is are you getting her a stripper?"

"I'm sure you're a pro at examining someone's genitalia." Alyssa argued. "Though I'll never be able to go into either maths or RE feeling the same way again, I'll always imagine the things that may or may not have happened there." she grinned. "Though, wouldn't you think the sex ed classroom would be the most popular classroom to have sex in or do other sexual stuff in? Or is that too obvious?"

"Well, to be honest, I always preferred Vader to Luke. Leia was more badass than Luke and besides, Hayden Christiansen was fit as in the prequel trilogy. Oh, shit, did I just say that out loud? Am I turning into a gay best friend? Fuck it, I am, aren't I? I never planned to be that camp." Theo shrugged and smirked as he took another, deeper drag of smoke and exhaled it in a thin jet.

He cackled at the idea of the older women in Walmart enjoying his friend streaking, though he nodded in agreement. "Plus Elliott is rather handsome, you know. Have you seen him in Speedos? Oh my God, dish the goss."

"I am a pro!" Theo said with a grin. "Wait, that's not such a good thing to say. I'm not a slut. Shut up. Don't even say anything. And sex ed classes are too predictable. Maths is a shit subject so you should go taint the classroom! Understand? Get your money's worth of school and stuff." He winked, before laughing. "And you're welcome. Glad I've ruined two more lessons for you. It's what I live for."

"Does this mean you'll soon get a bag and a dog and keep said dog in said bag? Oh, man. That would be amazing. You could also start wearing makeup daily and give out fashion tips to freshmen." she grinned. "And change your name to Gayseus. Eventually, with this approach people will accept it and I can have a cool gay friend."

"I say you should have a look at the goss yourself." she winked a little, before breaking out in a fit of laughter. "Okay, no. You know how I like spying on swim practice and running practice - or, if you didn't, at least now you know - but as far as I could see there was nothing special about Elliot. But don't tell him that, he'll either get depressed or try to show me his stuff to get me to change my opinion."

Alyssa rolled her eyes. "You are the touchiest person on the planet. seriously, how did you survive having siblings? Were you not teased as a child? Honestly." she tilted her head back, blowing out more smoke. "Maths was already ruined by being maths," she shrugged. "But if I ever want to have sex in a classroom I'll have to pick theee..." she thought about it. "Home Economics! Man, that'd be great."

"Yep, I'll move my hairspray out and put a chihuahua in. I'd look totes amaze," Theo joked, before flicking Lyssa on the cheek. "Anyway, Gayseus sounds better than Theseus. And plus I am fifty per cent straight. Well. Thirty per cent. I don't know. Ugh. Maths is hard. Maybe if I actually did maths and not spend the whole of it cackling to myself about other stuff that has happened in that classroom..." He winked, before shrugging. "I'm not very manly really. I swear I'm getting a bit camper with every cocktail. I don't have a limp wrist yet though! I'll let you know as soon as that happens."

He started laughing as she described Elliott, wiping his face with his sleeve and taking another puff of smoke. "Bless him. He does have a pretty face though. Well. His hair is nice. Sort of. I don't know. What do you think? You're more genetically enhanced for this sort of appreciation malark or something shit like that. I don't know."

"I am so not touchy. Not very much. Ugh," Theo groaned, flicking her again, before snorting. "Oh, you kinky bugger. Nice bit of food for you? Would you raid the fridges? Gosh."

"You really hate your name." Alyssa raised her eyebrows. "I like your name. Theseus. Theeeeeseusss." she repeated it a couple more times and grinned. "Don't even talk to me about maths. Not only is it a horrid subject, but also have you ruined the classroom for me. Shame on you." she took one last drag before chugging the cigarette towards the lake.

"Sure, he has a pretty face. Is that how you pick your friends? They have to be pretty and well, reckless." she grinned again. "That way you can enjoy looking at them even if they're being annoying." she snorted loudly and gave him a look. "Genetically enhanced? You scare me, sometimes Theo." She wasn't going to point out the fact that she was probably just as straight as he was (Though, this was Theo who was turning very camp, so maybe a bit more), she'd never actually claimed to be straight, but what was the fun in telling, anyway? She'd just have to get it on with a girl in front of him and take him by surprise.

"Stop flicking me!" she kicked at him with her foot, scowling. "Heeeeeey. That's not really kinky! Lots of people involve food. I'm sure you have, too."

"My name is so gross, stop tainting your tongue with it," Theo replied, before grinning and wiggling his eyebrows. "And anyway, it's not like you would have ever paid attention in maths anyway. Unless you would have, in which case we can't be friends any more."

Theo laughed as she pointed that out, rubbing his face with his sleeve and knocking away some more ash with his finger. "I don't have that many pretty friends. I know they say pretty people flock together, so, you know." He flipped his hair jokingly before cackling. "Seriously though. Okay, maybe they are all moderately reckless. Ish. I don't know. You're not that reckless are you? Or are you? Oooh do you have dirt to dish? What's the most reckless thing you've ever done?"

He winked at her. "You think so little of me! Or well. You know me well. Ugh."

"I've tainted my tongue with wooorse." Alyssa grinned. "Oh maths! Why of course it is my favorite subject, Theo! How does one not love that devil's subject as it tries to suck out your soul through a calculator?"

"Is that why you always end up around me, then?" Alyssa raised her eyebrows at him teasingly. "See, I kind of said you were pretty there. I could've gone with 'why are they flocking towards you then' or 'how does it feel to be the ugly duckling'," she sighed. "So many comments and I go with something nice." she shook her head over herself and leant back on the grass. "Reckless is good," she responded, biting back a grin. "And I won't tell you. Somethings are just better left untold."

"Technically I'm thinking quite highly of you, to say that you're... imaginative enough to involve food. Some people are so simple and boring that they'd never think of it! See, I'm just full of niceness today."

"So have I, actually," Theo said, smirking as he winked. "And I agree. Much better to suck other things. Did I just say that? Damn. No wonder I get called names." He pinched the cigarette end between his thumb and finger and threw it like a javelin into the water, watching it float with vague disappointment that it hadn't made an almighty splash.

"But yeah. Anyhow. What were we saying? Oh, yeah, that's right. Aw, you complimented me! For that, you can have a drink. JD and coke okay? I don't have anything else on me and I think the coke is flat but it doesn't matter that much does it?" He shrugged and passed her the opaque sports bottle from his bag. "Next time I'll bring vegetables or something."

Alyssa broke out in another fit of giggles. "Gosh I hate how much I giggle around you, it's so... uncharacteristic of me." She shook her head. "See, embracing the fact that you might possibly be a bit of a slut amuses other people. Amusing other people is good, good is happiness. Therefor being a slut is happiness."

“You’ve had alcohol on you this whole time? And you’re just spilling now? After I’ve given you my cigarettes? For free? Theseus.” she gave him a look. “You devil’s spawn! How rude. Give me that.” She took a large gulp. “Oh, if you’re bringing vegetables I’ll bring candy canes for us to smoke.”