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 Ultimate Hot Chocolate

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Theseus Capulet
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PostSubject: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:40 am

Well this was awkward.

Theo could not stop staring at the teacher, his lips quirking up slightly as he came to the realisation of why he was so consumed by the gravelly smoker's voice and the oddly attractive face. This was weird, but he couldn't stop imagining what this teacher must have looked like ten or twenty years ago. And the worst thing of all was that he wasn't particularly opposed to what he saw now.

Where was Claude? Claude would understand. Well. Maybe he wouldn't understand, but Theo would tell him anyway.

"Claude," he hissed, nudging his best mate with his foot. "Claude. I think I have a crush on Mr Zyrkovic."

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Claude Delanoir
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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:20 pm

Geography was dull. Claude really didn't want to learn about the Earth. That stuff was for losers. Though it was a class he could actually pass relatively well, so he didn't really want to drop it. Ugh, it was a bore to sit through though.

At least he had Theo to help him get through it. At least usually. Apparently today Theo wanted to help contribute to the pain and misery of school.

Claude stared at Theo for a few moments, trying to decide whether or not this was a joke. But of course it was a joke. "I'm sorry, I swear you just said you had a crush on Mr Zyrkovic. What did you say?"

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Theseus Capulet
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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Sat Mar 30, 2013 9:18 pm

"I just heard me say that too," Theo agreed, raising his eyebrows but finding himself unable to tear his eyes from the teacher at the front of the class. "He is kind of fit though. And he looks quite strong, and oh my gosh, I can't stop imagining this now. Claude, quick, give me something else to think about. I've never had this sexual fantasy before. Dear God, I think I'm broken."

He didn't even like Mr Zyrkovic all that much. Maybe that was part of this sudden attraction. "Look at him, though. He's quite hot, don't deny it. I bet he's good in bed."

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Claude Delanoir
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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Sun Mar 31, 2013 8:42 am

He actually said that. Theo actually said that. Claude looked from his friend, to his teacher, to his friend, and back again. Something was severely wrong with him. Claude cringed and pulled a face at the word 'sexual'.

"Theo, he's like, old. And gross. And old. Can't you think of someone in our year? There are plenty of people in our year. Or, you know, not think about this at all and think about taking notes that I can copy?" ha, Theo taking notes, what a joke.

"No!" Claude exclaimed, far too loudly. "No! Don't say that!" he banged his head against the table, lowering his voice to a mutter. "I'm never going to be able to unhear that."

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Theseus Capulet
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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:32 am

"He's not gross!" Theo replied, smirking. "And, you know, old isn't necessarily bad. Old means experience, and unsloppy eagerness, and when all else fails, money. And come on, he's pretty sexy. He's got that sort of rugged charisma. He's like... He's like Johnny Depp. Oh man, I would do Johnny Depp. Look at him, Claude. I could touch him." He grinned slightly at the thought, smirking ever such a little at Claude's discomfort.

"I can talk about Six Pack Si if you want," Theo replied, smiling. "Man that boy is hot. Good kisser too, even if he will insist he's straight, but you know, we've all got a bit of gay in us. I was obviously just greedy." Stop getting a kick out of making your best friend want the ground to swallow him whole, you sadist. "Anyway, back to Zyrkovic, if I don't take notes do you reckon he'll give me detention?"

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Claude Delanoir
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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:35 am

"No, no!" Claude stared at their teacher, utter disbelief on his face. "Absolutely not, he's like, old enough to be your grandfather or something! Probably! Okay, maybe just almost, but still, there's experienced and then there's just old."

He didn't really want to talk about Six Pack Si, if he was entirely honest. His face probably expressed that.

"You are greedy. Do we have to go back to Mr Zyrkovic? Really? I think you need an intervention if you're wanting to purposefully get a detention with him. There is something seriously wrong with you. I don't think you will though, I hardly ever take notes and I haven't got any detentions from him," that he remembered.

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Theseus Capulet
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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:38 am

"He is not old enough to be my grandfather," Theo replied, grinning. "My grandad is well old and not even remotely attractive. And no, before you say it, I would not fuck my grandfather, nor any of my blood relations. Your Grandad on the other hand..." he teased, feeling slightly smug at his best friend's reaction to this conversation.

"An intervention?" Theo said, raising his eyebrows. "How... intruding. You make it sound like I'm bad. Maybe I do need that detention. Punishment and all that." Oh gosh Theo he's going to shoot himself if you keep going like this.

"Well then I need to think of something that I can do to get his attention then, don't I?" Theo replied, biting his lip as he tried to think of something, before he grabbed Claude's textbook and hurled it at the teacher.

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:44 pm

Claude glared, not impressed in the slightest. "You've never met my grandfather. All you have to go on is the fact that I'm stunning and therefore my relatives must be too. Though you know, I can't really say anything," Claude shrugged, trying to act as indifferent as he could. "I did sleep with your sister."

He lost it again at the end of Theo's little asshole-rant though. "Oh my god why do I even hang out with you?! You hate me, don't you? You actually just want me dead-is this revenge? What could I possibly have done to suffer-what are you doing with my-!"

Claude watched in horror as his textbook flew across the room, smacking against the board next to the teacher's head. His textbook. Which was no longer on his desk. Cause that didn't look suspicious at all.

"Ohmygodhe'sgoingtokillus."

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:40 am

"Our love is a secret," replied Theo, before he bit his lip and smirked at Claude's comeback. "Oh, touché. I'm impressed, Claudey. You're getting good."

"You hang out with me because if you didn't there would be this huge Theo shaped hole in your life that is so large that the rest of your pitiful existence would begin to crumble and you would be but dust on the floor and that would be sad because you're not that bad a human being, really," Theo replied in a monotone voice, his lips quirking upward as he heard Claude start to freak out. Bingo.

"You'll be fine, just look like a swot and he'll let you off, my beautiful boy," he said, staring straight at the teacher and smiling innocently.

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:53 am

Danyal was drawing a diagram on the board when the book hit it. Far too close to him for comfort, really. Had he gone on such a tangent that he hadn't noticed it? He was getting slack. Or just really bored of teaching students, some of which were chatting away.

He turned round, seeing the culprits immediately, considering people were staring at them and one of them was missing a book, though that one had his head hung in shame, avoiding his gaze, while the other looked directly at him.

Picking up the book, Danyal walked to the back of the classroom, dropping it on the table of the smiling one, and raised a brow.

"Care to tell me what the hell that was?"

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 2:02 am

He really, really, really shouldn't be getting a kick out of this. As Mr Zyrkovic approached and Claude seemed to grow steadily more awkward (anyone would think that he was ashamed of being friends with Theo, which of course was totally ridiculous), Theo couldn't help but feel more and more entertained. There was something seriously wrong with him. Or something more wrong with him than what they had previously established was wrong with him. Which was quite a substantial amount.

Claude shouldn't be worried, anyway, it was completely and painfully obvious that this was entirely devised by Theo. The fact that Claude had bothered to bring his textbook to the lesson showed he was more conscientious than the book-throwing psychopath Theo seemed to have become.

"What the hell was what?" he replied, feigning shock, before looking at the teacher in confusion. "Oh, that. Sorry, I wanted to borrow the book, but I slipped. I can be quite rough sometimes. I'm sure you can understand, sir, I'm sure you're very strong."

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:03 am

These kids were nuts. As soon as the one speaking finished, the other one dropped his head on the table. What even was wrong with these two? Were they always this...well yeah, he seemed to remember telling them off a few times before.

"You managed to 'slip' and cause the book to fly across the room?" Danyal asked, tone laced with disbelief. "How inconvenient for you, perhaps next time you should keep a better hold on whatever it is you're holding."

He wasn't going to justify the rest of it with an answer. It really wasn't worth it.

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:11 am

Claude seemed to be dying, Theo acknowledged with a slight smirk, before he suppressed it and nodded, eyes wide as he looked up at the teacher. "Oh, yes, I couldn't get a firm enough hold. There wasn't enough friction, clearly."

This teacher didn't seem to really know what he was letting himself in for. Theo pouted slightly and shrugged one shoulder. "I agree sir. It might be very... hard... but I'll persevere. I usually handle things very firmly. You look like you handle things firmly too, sir. I'm sure you have an excellent grip."

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:57 am

What.

What was going on.

There was something seriously wrong with this kid.

Danyal stared at him, trying to decide exactly what to do. This wasn't something he'd dealt with yet. Generally dealing with little humans was pretty simple, but when he became 'teacher' things got a bit more complicated.

"Unfortunately for you, I doubt you'll ever find out whether or not I have 'an excellent grip', so continue to handle yourself very firmly, and your and your friend's textbooks, and remain quiet for the rest of my class, unless you'd rather go stand in the hallway and wait for it to be over. I'm sure you'll find your friction out there away from those of us trying to work."

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:59 am

Unfortunately for the teacher, Theo didn't give up that easily.

"Oh, sorry, sir," he began in a sad voice, "I am misbehaving. I'd completely understand if you wanted to punish me." He bit the inside of his lip hard in order to stop himself from laughing. It was at this point he felt slightly bad for Claude and the pain he must be inflicting upon his friend. But there wasn't enough guilt for him to stop.

Possibly stopping might have been the better option. Hindsight was a wonderful thing. "I find it difficult to handle myself. I need to be handled, sir."

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:18 am

Oh god just kill him now what did he ever do to deserve this he thought he'd already paid the price for sleeping with his best friend's sister but now he had to sit through his best friend flirting with a teacher and this was not on this was so not on and who talked about this kind of stuff and just said it in front of the whole class this was so out of order that it was probably broken and needed sending back to the shop and replacing.

Well. It could be worse. The teacher could be flirting back. Thankfully he wasn't.

He actually whimpered slightly in horror at Theo's last comment, wondering when he was going to wake up from this godforsaken nightmare of a class.

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:59 pm

No really this was getting out of hand. Would it be against the rules to pick the text book back up and whack the kid round the head with it? Because that was certainly all he could think of doing to try and get the kid to either fix his brain or knock him out.

"If you need handling that badly, I'm sure your little friend here can help you with that," he drawled, gesturing to the other boy. "Outside of my classroom, when people aren't trying to learn. Otherwise I suggest you try and learn as well, else I'm going to be forced to punish you, and by that I mean send you to either the guidance counsellor or the Headmistress's office, whichever you'd not prefer, really."

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PostSubject: Re: Ultimate Hot Chocolate   Sat Apr 13, 2013 7:51 am

Ohohohoho. Well, Zyrkovic had gone up in his estimation with that joke. "That was pretty good," Theo commended appreciatively, before realising that that appraisal was probably entirely inappropriate given the context. He really should get out of the classroom, for Claude's sake if not for his own.

Though saying that people were trying to learn was a bit of an overstatement. "Nobody's listening, it's only geography," he said before he could stop himself. Nonononostoptalkingstoppit. Better focus on what he was saying. "I don't really mind. Both are quite attractive. They know me, too. You decide, sir. Make a firm decision."

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