Once Upon A Time

"Stop it! Stop with the Clea! You read too much into things, even if two people have sex it doesn't mean they want to get bloody married and have you ship them to death! Honestly." she shook her head, feeling aggravated. "It's just sex!"

"Rhee-what now?" Rhea raised her eyebrows. "You are a troubled mind Theo, I might need to get you some help. Thessy is cute, it does suit you, you're Thessy-licious!" she gave a little giggle, pouring more vodka into her cup.

"Okay, so you were a fucked-up fourteen year old, good fifteen year old and what about sixteen? If we're not ignoring that - Which, I think, we're not! What did you do? Tell me, drugs? Smoking? Hookers? Surprise me Thessy." Rhea grinned again, growing excited for the conversation again. "Aww, poor Thessy hasn't had any fucking in a long long time?" she pouted playfully at him. "Poor little boy, does it make you sad?"

"Eight isn't bad." Rhea repeated. "Year and a half are like…" she paused to count. "Eighteen months? That's eight in eighteen months, that's not bad!" she was getting quite defensive. She hadn't spoked Nathan's name in a long time and hearing it leaving Theo's lips caused something in Rhea's stomach to tighten. "He's no one." she replied harshly. "That's cute, by the way, being someone's birthday gift. Was it at least good?"

"Oh my God, it's never just sex!" Theo laughed, taking another long sip of vodka. "Or it is, but oh my God, he's my best friend! If he ever comes round now aren't you like going to be forever uncomfortable? Or drowning in sexual tension. One of the two. That won't be nice for you, Rhee."

He grinned at what she said and shrugged. "Troubled mind because I don't like Thessy. Mmhmm. What is this world coming to?" He twisted his hands together, placing the cup in his mouth and holding it with his teeth, before flipping it up and finishing the rest of the drink. Wow. How many was that now? And he could still think kind of straight? Only a little bit wibbly? He grinned at the thought of his mind turning into uncoordinated mush - the image amused him somewhat.

"I haven't smoked since I was fifteen," Theo said with a shrug. "Apart from on occasion. But I haven't chainsmoked since thirteen and I... Well it took a while to give up, I guess." Not to mention he had picked it back up again when he was sixteen, but he didn't count that stint. He avoided answering the drugs question, moving onto the next bit. "I've never slept with a hooker. Being paid... but anyway, I want to hear about Nathan who is no-one. Why is he no-one?"

He grinned, rubbing his cheeks. "Well, it wasn't the worst first time ever. But I mean, it sure wasn't the best. I was so drunk and... stuff that in the morning I could hardly move. In fact I think I remember more about being sick the next day than I do about the party."

"As cute as it is that you worry about our 'tension' or whatever, you really should drop it. What ever happens between me and Claude, sexual or just pure uncomfortableness - it's none of your business!"

She couldn't quite decide if she was enjoying this conversation or if it was the worst thing in the world. Who the hell had conversations like this with their brother? Shouldn't she be lying about being a forever-virgin and that boys were gross and icky and shouldn't Theo be yelling at her? Well, if he did he'd make himself more of a hypocrite so maybe the fact that they could talk this way was… nice... ish. And they had alcohol. Alcohol was good.

"Chainsmoked? Really? Wow Theo, good job you managed to surprise me! Closet-heavy-smoker are you?" she grinned again. Rhea hadn't smoked often, she had tried it for sure but she was more for alcohol than cigarettes. She looked away again, grimacing as he pressed the subject of Nathan back on her. "Can't you just respect the fact that I don't want to talk about it?" she asked, her voice flat. But Theo was pushy and didn't seem to want to let it go. "Nathan is just an ex-boyfriend." she answered shortly. "Only boyfriend I've had." Was her voice shaking? "He's a year older than you."

"At least you were drunk." Rhea pointed out, drinking more from her cup. "Imagine the pain if you'd been sober." She could. "Speaking of alcohol, I might need more." she reached out for the bottle again, pouring a very generous amount of vodka in it, followed by some coke. Yep, she was definitely in need for more if she was going to survive this conversation.

"Yeah well, it's a good job I stopped because I bet my lungs have turned to ick now. Eugh. Don't really want to see them if I can help it." He grimaced at the thought of what he had probably done to his organs throughout his teenage years. It was just the drinking he needed to sort out now. His poor liver.

"No, because you haven't respected my privacy so why should I respect yours?" Theo countered, grinning, but his grin faded a little at the tone of her voice. An ex-boyfriend as in an ex like one of his? He bit his lip, and shrugged. "I'm sorry. People are dicks," he said quietly, before deciding to draw the conversation away from his sister purely for her comfort. "Well, you know, I might have got drugged up a few times when I was sixteen. More than a few times really. And once or twice... I... may have needed some cash. But seriously, I did clean myself up. I just like... I guess that's why I worry about you, you know? Cos it sucks."

He smirked at what she suggested and sucked in an audible breath. "Oh man. That would've been unbearable. Mind you I did think I'd broken something for a few weeks afterwa-oh God why am I telling you this? Were you sober or drunk then Missy? Speaking of which, I wonder if Claude's got any alcohol in for when we run out?"

"Smoking isn't attractive either. Or well, it can be if you have that whole bad-boy-in-a-leather-jacket-thing going on for you, with a motorcycle and all, but you don't come off as one of those." Rhea pointed out. "So what are you now? Just a party-smoker?"

Rhea nodded her head shortly, trying to shake off this weird feeling. She really didn't like talking about Nathan, but Theo seemed to be getting the hint and she smiled slightly as he changed the subject. He wasn't a horrible brother, after all. "Drugs?" her eyebrows raised, she hadn't really expected it even if she had asked. "Oh wow…" She felt herself at the loss of words. She tried to picture it - Theo just a little bit older than she was now and... drugs. "Seriously? But… You're clean now, right? Holy shit Theo… drugs?" she whistled.

"You don't have to." she added, feeling a bit awkward again. "Worry about me I mean. I know I'm not a poster-child for good manners and shit… but like I don't smoke really, I maybe drink and party more than I should, I do have sex but I do it because I want to, not because I'm some depressed teenager or whatever. I like it, but I'm not into any deep shit."

Rhea cringed. "Okay. Ew. That was over sharing." she grimaced, shuddering. As curious as she was about what her brother had done or not she didn't really fancy that kind of details. "Sober." she answered, grimacing again. "Very, very sadly." That was another thing she wanted to forget, her bloody first time and how horrible and painful and just disgusting that had been. "You know Claude as well as you know yourself, don't you? I'm sure he has a hidden stash somewhere."

"Yeah, well I was definitely no leather clad hell's angel, I can guarantee that," Theo said with a snort. "I've always been a little too much on the girly side, but never mind. And I mean, there's nothing attractive about a thirteen year old boy who looks like a complete and utter idiot sneaking out of lessons in middle school to go get his fix." He couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. Sometimes he wondered how he was the same person.

"Yeah, of course I'm clean now. I wasn't like a heroin addict or anything. It wasn't like... I don't know. I mean, it's not like I was a hardcore drug abusive tattooed guy with several dealers on speed dial or anything. At weekends and parties though... I just have a weak resistance. I just could never say no, you know?" It felt weird to be trying to explain it. He felt like he was watering it down a little, but he couldn't express how it hadn't been that bad when he had to admit the fact he'd got himself into that shit was bad. He settled for rubbing his hands through his hair.

"Yeah, but like, I didn't even have any excuse of being deep or depressed. I mean, it didn't even look like fun. I just... ended up doing it. I don't even know why." He smiled a little, and shrugged. "Yeah. I trust you. I just go a bit UGH NO SLEEPING WITH ANYONE EVER CHASTITY BELT CHASTITY BELT on you sometimes, and I reckon I'm always gonna do it. Besides," he added, grinning, "you've almost overtaken my number. Gosh, Rhea."

"It's the alcohol, it's making me really chatty and I'm spilling all my secrets," Theo gushed, grinning. "I reckon sober would've been good, I don't know. I was like... out of my skull." He nodded at her words, pointed a finger and stood up, stumbling slightly. "Whooops!" he hummed, before dropping onto his stomach and peering under the bed to see if he could find any alcohol tucked away. "Aha! Jackpot!" he called as his fingers found a bottle and he pulled it out. "Well, would you look at this," he said with a grin, waving the bottle of meade at her. "Mmmhmm. Chin chin!"

"How did you get them anyway? The cigarettes and all that crap? I mean I know technically we're not supposed to be able to get alcohol so easily, but cigarettes seem harder to get, you know? I only get mine from people already smoking theirs, so I wouldn't really be able to afford being addicted to them or something, unless I get someone to get buy for me."

"Speaking of tattoos, do you have any?" Rhea wasn't sure if she was changing the subject or not. All she knew was that she didn't really like imagining Theo as someone being involved with drugs. Drugs were... another level of fucked-upness. She snorted slightly. "Well at least I am good at saying no, if I wasn't I would've probably have lost my virginity at, like, twelve!"

"Chastity belt?" Rhea repeated, grimacing at the thought. "Yeah, no thank you. Can't you pretend I'm not your little sister... or something? Or that I'm not having sex, turn a blind eye to it or something?" she gave him a hopeful smile before she glared at him. "Don't 'gosh' me. Eight isn't bad! Nine isn't bad either, I guess. Besides, ten sounds kind of cool doesn't it?" she winked at him.

"Sober wasn't good, not good at all." Rhea cringed. "But I didn't really drink at fourteen, it was more like... experiencing that, that made me start." she gave a little laugh. Or well, it was more the fact that her first ever boyfriend was a cheating lying bastard that had made her want to start drinking. And the fact that she was planning on fucking said cheating lying bastard's best friend. "But everything gets better the more often you do it." Such an awkward conversation, Rhea thought, grimacing again and she was insanely happy when the subject turned to alcohol again and the bottle of mead appeared. "Brilliant!" she held out her cup. "Pour the drink, brother!"

"Like I said, I was tall for my age," Theo said with a grin. "Also, I knew a place that didn't ask for ID. Only IDed for alcohol. And I knew this girl down the street who got them and sold them on cheap. I had lots of options to be honest."

Theo grinned at that. "Noooo. I don't have a tattoo. They have never appealed to me, I don't know why. I just spend so long thinking 'what would I get?' that then I decide there's no point bothering at all! Have yoooou got any little secrets I might want to know about?" he asked with a grin.

"But a chastity belt would be the making of you, Rheelee," he said, beaming. "You'd learn all about life's real virtues!" He had to admit though, ten sounded kind of appealing. Or maybe it was the alcohol muddling his mind.

Theo shrugged at that. He'd always figured that sober would have been better than smashed, but it was one of those things that they couldn't really compare. "Oh no, don't say that, I can't process that thought," he said, grimacing. "I don't want to imagine that. Ew. Ew. Ew."

He took her cup from her and sloshed in some meade, before repeating the same to his. Handing hers back, he offered his cup up for her to tap. "To fuck ups," he said with a grin, before taking another swallow. "Where's Claude anyway?"

"You were a sneaky little troubled child weren't you." Rhea shook her head but grinned nothingness. "See, I was angelic-ish next to you! At thirteen I was pretty innocent, it wasn't until like a couple of weeks before my birthday that I got a boyfriend. And had my first kiss and then it all went down I guess, with sex and shit. God, sex is a bitch!"

"I wanted to get one. A tattoo." Rhea admitted. "On my hip or something, but then my friends kept telling me how I'd just regret it and yadiyadiyada so I never got one. I wouldn't mind having one though, tattoos are kind of hot." she shrugged. "I'm not full of secrets, like somebody-" she gave him a little look. "I'm all truth an' shit. Mostly, anyway. But no, no dark secrets that I'm hiding... I think."

"Life's real virtues?" Rhea repeated, frowning. "Oh my god, that sounds like something out of the Bible." Not that she's know. "If you'd ever even try to get me into a chastity belt I might die, Theo, die! How would you feel if that happened to you? No sex for Theo? How would you feeeel?"

She grinned a little at his reaction. "What? Did you never hear that? If you do it again and again the less it'll hurt!" she beamed. "That's what Nathan said anyway when I didn't want to." she gave a little shrug at that. "And now I like it so, I guess I could thank him for that." With a punch in the face.

Rhea accepted her cup, holding it up so it could meet with Theo's. "To fuck ups." she agreed before gulping down a sip. "God this is good shit, he keeps this hidden does he? Away from us? That is so rude, he should learn to share really." she gave it a little though, where the hell WAS Claude? "Maybe he ran off to live in Spain or something."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever. Well, I was almost fifteen when I first had sex so maybe that's my redeeming quality, that I was still older than you!" Theo said in a relatively loud voice, possibly from the alcohol. "Thank God you were eleven and Art was just innocent because oh my God otherwise I would have got caught. I had a stinking cough and everything. And I was always ill, do you remember? Gosh I was a stupid little boy," he reminisced with a grin.

"What would you have it of though? A llama or something? Or Batman? No that's Claude's thing. Maybe you could have all the guys you slept with and then the tenth one gets a special yellow bubble around his name or something! There, that's special," he said, taking a long drag of meade and swallowing, feeling a vague sense of satisfaction.

"And I don't have that many dirty secrets. Well. I do. But I mean, dirty little secrets are alright to keep. And you should feel honoured that you're the first person to hear them! And also you should swear on your life that you will keep them and not tell Mom or Dad, okay sweetpea?"

He groaned at her explanation and nodded violently. "Yes, I've heard that, but when you say it all sorts of horrible mental images get thrown up in my mind and me no like. Me no like at all." It was then that the hiccups decided to strike, and he lurched forwards with one. "Oh my God, how much ha-hic-have we had to drink?" he asked, frowning as he looked down at the two bottles on the floor. Had they reached the stage of overdoing it? "Maybe he keeps the meade hi-hic-hidden cos he kn-hic he knows I can't hic resist this shit," he reasoned.

"Will you quiet down?" Rhea giggled a litte. "Almost-fifteen is sooo not better than just-fourteen!" she argued, pouting. "Oh my god - That's why you were always ill? Lying bastard, aren't you!"

"Batman is Claude's thing. But at least he'd find it sexy." Rhea agreed. "I'm not sure what I'd get it of, something girl probably, cus you know me! Oh my god maybe I should get a bottle of alcohol tattooed on my hip!" That sounded like the most brilliant idea ever! Rhea gulped down more of her drink, she really really liked alcohol. And alcohol-related tattoo sounded brilliant. "Ooh, or that. I could put stars behind them and if they get five stars they were really good! Oh wait, don't I need to know all their names for that?"

"My lips are sealed! Or well sealed-ish. I'll not speak about it to our parents! Oh same goes for you, you shut those lips! And oh my god, if you dare say anything about this to Artemis I will kill you! Claude doesn't have to know either, by the way. This'll be our dirty secret! She giggled loudly at that.

"Horrible mental images?" Rhea batted her eyes innocently. "Well, do you not want a detailed summary of it then? How many times the first week? On a level from 1-10 how bad was it? Where did I do it - my bed, his bed, your bed, our parent's bed - ooh, have you ever done it there?" She giggled loudly when Theo started hiccuping. "You've had wayyyy too much too drink!" she exclaimed. "You have to give me your drink-" she nodded her head, reaching out with her free hand. "Gimme!"

"I can't believe I never got found out though, like, HubbaBubba chewing gum must have mystical powers or something to hide that shit," Theo said, grinning as she giggled and giggling slightly with her. "Why? Am I being too looooud? Flaunting all our secrets to the empty rooooom?"

A bottle of alcohol. That would suit Rhea well. "Mmm, alcohol. Which reminds me, refill!" He grabbed the meade and poured more in, though with very little care, slopping some over the sides, giggling madly at the idea of a a five star rating system. Oh, that would be brilliant. "You don't know all their names?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows. "See, I at least know their names. At least, the ones who count. I could list them off for you if you wanted! So if I remember all their names, does that make me less slutty?"

"Your lips had -hic- better be sewn together, young la-hic-dy. And you have yourself a -hic- bargain. This can be our one night of kn-hic- knowing shit. Blackmail material, you know. Perfect, no?" He grinned widely. "As for your f-hic-final answer, our p-hic-parents' bed is well comfy. You should try it sometime." He smirked, winking, before his face fell. "And don't you dare do it in my hic bed, or I will turn you into sa-hic-salami and get someone to feed you to the dogs, comprende?"

He burst into laughter as she held out her hand for the drink, yelling "Never!" and downing the rest. Ooooh he was beginning to feel a bit funny. He shook his head and squinted. "I can't remember if I ate anything today. Whooops!"

"I know mooooost names! I think." She had to think about that one. "Well I know Nathan's name and his bestie was Josh! Then there was, uhm, okay don't know his name. The guy I thought had knocked me up was called something like Steven! Or Stephen. I don't remember the random guy from the club but the guy from the store was Daniel I think! Oooh, and the guy I slept with for like a whole month was called Christopher and was totally dreamy and really, really fit or well you know until I learned he had like a daughter! Turn off!" Why was she telling him all of this? She didn't seem to be able to shut up. Maybe they had been drinking too much, too fast. "And then there's your mate! Number eight Mister Claudiekins Delanoir! Your turn, gimme the names!"

Rhea ran her finger over her lips. "Sealed!" she exclaimed, giggling more. "You have the hiccups." she giggled again. "That's hilarious!" she finished her drink, choking as she continued giggling. "Ooh, but how do you know I haven't already tried their bed? It's rather bouncy, isn't it?" the thought of having sex on Theo's bed was becoming really appealing to her now. "Well…" she grinned. "I do like the risk! Do you ever have class when Claude has a free period?"

"At least pour me more!" she held her cup out for him. "Soooober up Theeee! Soon you'll have told me all your secrets! At least, like you said, it'll be good blackmail."

Theo nodded with each name, giving an "Uh-huh!" after each one that was provided, before he gave an applause and it was his turn. "Okay the first guy was Ben- no, no it wasn't, it was Jake, Ben was his friend who decided I was cute and would be good for him and gave me to him. Lovely Ben. I did snog Ben though." He grinned at the memory. "And then there was Sophia, cos she'd just split up with her boyfriend you see and she was sad and I said she was pretty and she kind of, I don't know, pounced, and then before I knew what was happening we'd sealed the deal and I was landed with a crushing feeling of guilt." He shook his head and sighed. "Then there was Jason-" He paused, realising the stories got a bit less innocent here, and decided not to fill her in on the detail. "Um, yeah, Jason, similar situation right there to one of yours, and then Leonie, the evil bitch, then Sam-" Oh Sam. Sam was not a pleasant memory. "Then there was some shady business we don't go into, and then Leo, which was funny cos it was Theo and Leo, geddit? Well when you're drunk and not tipsy it's hilarious. And then there was Sam the Second, and then Dominic-" The oldest, and probably the biggest fool of them all. "-aaaand then we finish it off with Michael, who was a complete bastard! Let's drink to them." He poured her another cup, and smacked his against her own, before taking a slightly more tentative sip this time.

"My hiccups are not fun-hic!" he protested, covering his mouth and gulping air. "How do you hic get rid of hic-hiccups again? Is it holding your breath?" He took a huge gulp of air and began to count to ten, cut off at number four by another of the offending squeaks. "You are not sleeping in my bed," he repeated, the whole tone of his voice being diverted by the loud hiccup that interrupted his silence.

"I'm so hic honest when I'm drunk, how have I hic not spilt all this before? Or have you spiked me with some weird hippydippy shit that hic makes you tell the truth?"

Rhea tried her best to keep up with all the names and people Theo listed up, but in her rather tipsy state the names weren't fully progressed by her brain, but she nodded with nothingness. "Alright, alright! I'll give it to you! You know the names! That takes away one slutty-point." she giggled. "Ooh, the last one was a bastard? I love bastards, maybe we could throw cow blood at him!" she giggled again, taking a large gulp from her cup. They'd finish the alcohol in no-time if they kept going like this.

"Hold your breath! Drink upside down! Be startled!" Rhea listed off all the things she remembered, giggling at each one. "Go-o-od, I'm so giggly!" she giggled at that. "You're hiccuping and I'm giggling!" She pouted. "Well, I wouldn't be sleeping there," she pointed out, grinning again.

"I like honest-Theo! Lemme ask more questions!" She had to think about that one, giggling at all the ideas she thought of that were all rather dirty. "Okay okay-" she started, when she found something awkward enough. She couldn't have Theo feel comfortable! "Which do you like more giving handjobs or blowjobs or receiving them?"

Theo cheered as Rhea announced that he would be reprieved of one slutty-point. "That almost makes my life even more worth living!" he said with a grin, before hiccupping again. Gosh these things were a pain in the arse. "Hey, how do you know I didn't just make all of those names up? I didn't, by the way."

"And yoooou-" Theo pointed at Rhea to indicate her "-said I-" he pointed at himself "-had too much to drink." He pointed off the meade and then shook his head at her. "Tsk tsk hic, tsk, Rhea," he said, grinning. "Obviously we must just be the hic giggly drunks, hic I've been told I get giggly when I'm drunk. Good job I'm not dr-hic- good job I'm not drunk, eh?"

His response to her question was timed just as he hiccupped and swallowed simultaneously, something that just seemed to make him cough violently. "I think you just shocked my hiccups away," he rasped as he regained his breath. "I can't believe you just asked that."

He thought about this. "A... bit of both, really. Oh, God," he groaned as it dawned on him once more that he was answering this question to his sister. "I... call me what you will but publicity has it's thrill, and I mean, giving hand jobs in public... it's kind of fun." God, had he really just answered that question? "Not with like everyone looking!" he added hastily. "Just like... giving them and receiving them and trying to keep quiet... it's hilarious." He giggled at what he had just said, then caught himself and stopped. "I'm not drunk."

"You better not have made them up!" Rhea gasped dramatically. "We're having an honest moment here Theo, Gooooood! We mustn't lie to each other! Lying is for tomorrow when we claim to never have said anything of what we've said tonight!"

"I'm not drunk!" Rhea refused, grabbing onto the cup tightly. "Juuuuust in a gooood mo-o-ood!" She kind of felt like singing, was that bad? "We're never drunk! We're the Sober siblings!"

She giggled madly as he claimed she had shocked his hiccups away. "I knew that was a good question! Prepare yourself for I have many more questions waiting to be asked."

"Dirty Theo!" Rhea giggled again. She was surprised by herself how little she was grossed out, but then she was pretty shameless. "Oooh, publicity! I've never given a hand job in public but it's surprising what a girl can do with her toes!" that sent her into another fit of hysterical giggles. "Oh, dinner parties - how I miss thou!" And under the table at lunch. "Sober-Theo is sober! More questions! More questions! Uhm… What about… What about… Oooooh! When you're having sex with girls-" she could barely control herself, this question was simply brilliant. "-Okay, when with girls which-" She broke off again. "Okay, I can do this. Which hole to you like more?" And that was it, that left her in such a state that she rolled off the bed, the rest of her drink pouring over her as she landed on the floor, gasping for air.

"I didn't make them up!" Theo replied with a grin that felt like it was going to fall off of his face. "After all, I'm saving up on my lying ability, you know." He nodded matter-of-factly. "That way I'll be able to denyyyyy this conversation in the moooorning! Is it even night yet? Isn't it like... I don't know, afternoon? Does that mean we're dr- sober in the afternoon? Wow."

The Sober Siblings. That. Was. Too. Funny. Theo fell onto his back, laughing so hard that his laughter became silent. "We are! Weareweareweare," he gasped, clutching his stomach. "Wait, you have more questions? This is so bad. I have like none for you."

And then he fell off the bed. Clattering to the ground, he looked up at her and pulled a horrified face. "How the... that's traumatising! You've done it. You've finally destroyed my mind. I... I can't even believe you'd ask that." Something seemed hilariously funny about that at the same time. "The one nature intended!" he said, tilting his head to the side, not attempting to pull himself back onto his bed. "I like a change and beside, girls don't like that shit, only in some boys' fantasies. And I am a nice person. Or something." He needed a question to ask her back. "Well, then, you're a girl. Preference?"

He threw his hands back over his head. "What about... the eldest you've ever slept with," he said as he shuffled to get comfortable on the floor.

"Uh," Rhea frowned. "Afternoon-ish. We're sober during the afternoon! Cus we're the cool kids! Coolest kids in schoooool. Seriously, where's Claude?"

Rhea was very pleased with his reaction, grinning as she moved to sit up and resting her back against Claude's bed. "I'm all weeeettt." she pouted, tugging at her shirt that had gotten most of the alcohol on it. "Do you have a shirt for me? Actually, better yet! Does Claude have something to lend me?"

"It's the best question ever!" she disagreed. "I like being traumatizing! My questions are endless and awesome because I'm just so talented!" she cringed a little. "You're correct, us girls don't like the other shit - most of us anyway - I prefer what you'd call 'normal'!" Again, she wondered what kind of siblings would have these conversations together, their relationship was definitely fucked up. But then again, so they seemed to be.

"Ooooh, I have to think about that! I don't know how old Christopher was! Old, I'm guessing seeing as he had a child, maybe he was like twenty-something-ish! Hopefully not thirty. Nathan was seventeen while I was thirteen-fourteen-ish-" Ish was a really nice word. "-Which is bad, I guess! What about you? How old have you gone?" she remembered him saying he had never been the younger one and that made her pout. "And you've never gone lower than your age? Son, I am disappoint!" she giggled again, looking at her empty cup. "I need more to drink! Where's the mead?"

"Pfft, they don't have to be old to have kids," Theo said, dismissing the idea with his hand. "I mean, look at Jason, he was twenty two and he had four kids. Mmhmm. And a wife! Not a fun thing for a fifteen year old to find out, nuh uh."

"It is not the best question ever, you freak, it's rank. Ew. Ew. Ew ew ew." He reached to pull himself back to his feet, stumbling back into the radiator, before straightening again. "Hey, you could have one of Claude's," he said, moving towards Claude's closet and pulling out the first shirt he could get his hands on, chucking it at her.

"The oldest I've gone is twenty-fooooour," he said, shrugging. "I was almost seventeen though. Not fourteen. But yeeeah, that was an eight year age gap soooooo. Oops!" He grinned and reached back for the mead, chucking it over at her. "There you are, my dear. Gosh, when Claude finds us... sober... I wonder what he'll think."

He threw himself back onto the bed and shrugged. "I've gone for same age, like, twice. But other than that, younger, nahhh. Have you ever gone younger? Some little thirteen year olds lurking around in your deep dark history right there?" He grinned at the words and pulled the duvet up with his feet, throwing it over his head. "Go on then. Continue. I am ready for your craaaap."

"Ew! A wife?" Rhea shook her head. "That's aaaaawful! You fucked someone with a wifey and kiddies? Oh Thessylessy! That guy sounds like a bitch! Didya punch him?"

"Yay!" Rhea cheered as he threw one of Claude's shirt at her, she quickly got rid of her wet one and threw it on the floor before tugging Claude's shirt over her head. "It smells all Claude-y." she giggled.

"Wow! Twenty-four is like ancient! It's like screwing someone's grandfather!" she accepted the bottle, not bothering with pouring the mead into her cup, just drinking straight from it. Not drinking wasn't going so well, oh well they'd finish the bottle soon. "Claude's not allowed to judge!" she shook her head. "We judge him! For not being sober with us!"

Rhea wiggled her eyebrows. "Mm, small children! Just my taste - No! Ew! I've never gone younger! I'm into dem older guys, sexy sexy guys with lots and lots of experience that can give me a great orgasm! Someone that knows what he's doing. That's my style, big brother!" she had to think again, trying to pick out the best question. "Okay, tell me Theo-darling, do you prefer top or bottom? Oh actually! Tell me your favorite position too, girl or boy - I don't care, favorite position with a moose if you want! I just want an answer!"

"And and and she was a pregnant wife too," Theo continued, nodding. "Don't call me Thessylessy, it makes me want to throw up." He wrinkled his nose. "I didn't punch him! He was twenty two! I was fifteen! He was rough too, like, he'd have wiped the floor with me, so I threw up in his bathroom and legged it and then tripped on some stupid baby toy, almost broke my neck on the stairs and ran home!" Oh, that had been a traumatic experience. Another reason why he had had a very good, clean year when he was fifteen.

"Claude-y? What, of alcohol and cheap aftershave?" Theo said with a giggle. "Great smell. He gives very good hugs, does that Claude. Where is he? I need a hug after you've traumatised me with those questions."

"Oh my God, twenty-four is not like screwing someone's grandfather, bloody hell, Rhea," Theo said with a grin. "Hey, hey, hey, you know, I'm still not going to be as old as the guy I lost my virginity to for another two years. Isn't that kind of hilarious?"

He groaned as more questions came his way, pulling the duvet tight over his face as he continued to kick his legs out. "Both, I'm not fussy," he mumbled. "Most guys I've been with like to be in control anyway so you know, I'm not particularly fussy about it. So there you go. Doesn't that change your life?"

The next question was possibly worse. "Oh my God! Don't ask that! No. No answers. Nuh uh. Mind you, I guess facing is good, and you would not believe how rare that is sometimes. You straight people with all your fancy facing positions and shit don't know how lucky you are!" He pulled the duvet down and looked at her. "So go on then, sister, what's your favourite- no, I can't ask. Too weird. TOO WEIRD."

Rhea waggled her eyebrows again. "Ooooh, he was rough? I like rough! Rough's fun, don't you think?" she giggled. "I would've freaked out if one of the dudes I'd been fucking told me he was married to a pregnant chick! I freaked out when Christopher told me had one child, a daughter. I thiiiiiink, he was looking for a new mommy for the bastard. No thank you!"

"I have not traumatized you!" Rhea giggled again. "Okay, okay! Maybe I have! But, we're bonding Theo! Bonding! Claude isn't here bonding with us, therefor his hugs cannot be great! Hugs aren't so special."

"Grandfather..." Rhea muttered, grinning. "Oooh! Wait! Wait! Me too! Or a little less than two years seeing as I'm aaaaalmost sixteen! Oooh, that is so cool!"

His answer made her laugh harder. "You're not fussy? But you're most often on bottom?" she nodded her head. "I might need to write this down! Can I call you bottom-Boy?" God, that was hilarious.

Rhea had to resist the urge to clap her hands together excitedly when he started freaking out over her next question. Damn, she was good at this questioning game. "It's not too weird!" she refused, grinning widely. "I'll tell you! You see, I think I have one absolute favorite position and that's when I can rest one - or both - legs on their shoulders! Seeeeeeeeriously Theo, have you tried it? It's fucking hot! More questions! Have you ever… taken someone's virginity?"

"That," Theo said slowly, smirking, "was not what I meant by rough. But okay, probably applies." He grinned and drank some more mead, before squinting. "Maybe I should stick to coke next time because everything's going a bit wonky in my sobriety."

"You have! You have traumatised me! I am a traumatised thing! I have never been more traumatised!" he gushed, laughing. "I need a hug from Claude or Mom to make eeeeeverything go away, you bad bad evil evil evil bad girl."

He grinned, sitting up, and picked his cup up from the floor. "We should drink to that! To two years!" he announced, before taking a sip, almost spitting it back out again as Rhea decided it was time to humiliate him further. "No, no you can't. No Thessylessy, no slut, no Bottom-Boy. Just plain Theo. Otherwise I just won't talk to you!" he added in a singsong voice. "Deal?"

"NO DON'T TELL ME LALALALALALA!" Theo hollered over the top of her, but he still heard anyway. "Oooooh, that one. I always thought you'd get cramp from that one. Miiiind you, saying that..."

"Uuuuum." Theo frowned at that. "No. Don't think so. Have you? Oh please tell me you haven't. That would be weird!" He moved to fill the cups again, but only a little bit came out. "Oh," he mumbled in slight surprise, before holding the bottle up above one eye and squinting into it. "It's empty," he said, frowning.

"Oooh, do you like it rough then? Oh my god! Are you into bondage?"

"Awwwww! Should we just ring mommy then? Call her and tell her we've been sharing our deepest secrets, exchanging sexual stories and more and now you're so traumatized that you need a wittle huuuug?" She grinned. "Unless, you're saying that you look at Claude like he's your momsy."

"You're so rude to all my nicknames!" Rhea pouted. "I'm aaaalways nice to you! I'm so nice to you, like, it hurts a little bit to be this nice." she nodded her head quickly. "Alright! Alright, deal! But you have to continue to answer my questions then!"

"Well you have to be quite limber." Rhea pointed out. "Thankfully I am quite bendy and stretchy and limber and eeeeeverything!" she grinned. "It's really sexy and usually - if done correctly - really, really good." Seriously, where was Claude? "Do you want to know more of my faaaavourite things to do in bed? Because I have a long list!"

Rhea giggled. "I don't think so! Like I said, I'm more into guys with experience! I need someone that knows what he's doing, otherwise it'll just be bad and awkward." she held her cup out for him, disappointed when nothing came out of the bottle. "You've finished it!" she pouted. "All of Claudie's mead! Do you reckon he has anymore to drink?"