Time for Special Hugs

Claude hoped that Theo was still asleep. As soon as he’d realised who was next to him, he had raced to get to bed. Unfortunately he’d kind of slept in later than he planned. It was a good thing it was a weekend. But man was he screwed. He couldn’t help but give a tiny laugh at that.

Sneaking through the door, he shut it as quietly as he could, his shoes in his hands. Got to make as little noise as possible. He headed towards his bed, wondering what time Theo was planning on waking up. Hopefully after he’d settled in and made it look like he hadn’t just come back from a one night stand. With Theo’s sister. He was so going to hell.

But then he did something that had him convinced that he was less hung-over and more still drunk, creeping over to Theo’s bed with a pen in his hand, crouching down as he begun to draw on his roommate’s arm. Just to make sure that if-screw that, he could never hide something from Theo for long-when Theo found out, he'd hopefully not be too pissed off.

The previous night was a bit of a blur. Apart from the dancing and a vague memory of discussing the possibility of leprechauns existing and mongering their own porn films, Theo couldn't really remember what he'd got up to. All he remembered was that when he returned Claude had not been there. The only reason for him being missing his intoxicated brain could supply was that he'd gone searching for said erotic videos, which made him giggle and led to a rather bizarre dream in which Theo was running through a supermarket with a baby and a pot of gold.

It wasn't until he could see light through the backs of his eyelids that Theo felt even vaguely conscious again. Wrinkling his nose, he tried to get into a comfort position, hoping the tickling on his arm would stop when he became aware that something had a firm grasp on it.

Startling awake, Theo grabbed the bedside light and pointed it like a gun in the face of his attacker, shouting "Who's there?!" before recognising Claude. "Fucking hell, Claude, I thought you were trying to rape me or something!" he protested moodily, before looking down and frowning. "What's going on...?"

It came to him and he gasped before grinning. "Clarice! My girl. My girl. Don't lie to me," he began, smirking. "Tell me, where did you sleep last night?"

Claude was fairly certain he let out a noise that wasn't particularly manly when the lights were on and there was a hand-gun in his face, blinking at it. Oh shit he was in trouble. He should've gone with his original plan of just going to bed. Why did he not do that?

"No, no, I'm not trying to rape you!" he wiggled the pen slightly. "Just...you know, drawing on your arm as you sleep. Hey, be glad it's not your face, right?" he let out a slightly nervous laugh. Okay, Claude, stay calm. Cool, calm and collected.

"Wh-what?! Where did I sleep?" calm. Calm. Calm. Calm. Shit. "Er, on the roof? I think. I'm not sure. You know, I think I just slept walked back here. No idea how I got here. I was just here, outside the room, and then decided to come in and draw on your arm, you know, as you do," shitshitshit. "Where did you sleep?"

Theo sniffed, before mumbling "Good." It was a bit weird though, wasn't it? Claude had tried to sneak back in and had still managed to wake him up by writing on his arm. Theo raised his eyebrows. "You're still sloshed, aren't you?" he said with a grin. "Ah man, what have you been up to, mister?"


On the roof. That had to be cryptic for some girl's bed. Why was he acting so nervously? "I've been sleeping in a bush," he replied flatly to his question. "In fact I'm still asleep there now. Come on, who have you been sleeping with?" Theo asked, clicking the light off and on so that it flashed in Claude's face. His memory of last night had that kind of strobe effect, now he thought about it. "Do I know her? Was it Evie or someone?"

Why was he so awkward? He'd never known him to be awkward about sleeping with someone before, unless Theo had just missed it. But he wasn't going to be woken up panicking for some bullshit excuse. "So like I obviously know her because otherwise you wouldn't be so weird," he began, before looking down to see what exactly had been drawn on his arm. "And this looks like an apology so it's either someone I like or - oh. Oh my gosh. You didn't, did you?"

Was Claude still sloshed? That was actually a pretty good question. Drinking fast really had been a...no. Bad idea. Definitely bad idea. Just look at where he ended up. On his knees drawing an apology on his friend's arm for sleeping with his sister. In no way was this a good idea. "Possibly. There was...lots of fast drinking. Very fast."

Right, yeah, that was a stupid question. He had to blink quickly a couple of times as Theo flashed the light in his face. Trippy. "What is this? A interrogation or a rave?" he asked, before he had to face the question he was being asked. "Yeah, you probably know her. It wasn't Evie though. Ha, Evie," if only.

He watched as Theo looked down at his arm, not even daring to breathe. Oh he was going to guess. Claude was so screwed. He grimaced as Theo seemed to put the pieces together, trying desperately to find someone, anyone, who would make a suitable substitute. "If I said it's not who you're thinking of would you believe me?"

"Drinking fast will get you sloshed, Claude," Theo said in a highpitched lispy voice, pulling the gimpiest smile he could and dropping his head to the side. He flicked the bedside lamp off and put it down on the cabinet, pushing himself into a sitting position and watching his friend with a smirk.

"How do you know who I'm thinking of? Oh my gosh you slept with my sister didn't you?" Theo clapped a hand to his mouth and groaned. What was he supposed to do about this? Rhea was fifteen, wasn't she, so he should really be preparing to maim Claude. But Claude was his best mate, and if Theo was honest, he was finding it really hard to care too much at this moment. Oh, he was the worst brother ever.

"You were safe, right?" he asked, though he didn't really want to know. "No niece or nephew Delanoir-Capulet on the way?" He grimaced, before looking down at his arm again and biting his lip to keep his face straight. It didn't really work. "Oh my gosh, Claude, only you would draw an apology. Doughnut."

Claude grinned at the voice Theo put on for his warning. "Really? I feel perfectly sober. Would've never thought I'd get sloshed from drinking fast. I only had a few...large glasses."

He looked away in shame at the word 'sister', not even bothering to hide it. There was very little point. The best he could do was hang his head and go sit in the dog house for a good few hours.

"Was I-? Yeah, 'course," he felt himself getting a bit red in the face. This was her brother he was discussing this with. "Don't think you need to worry about nieces and nephews from me. Doubt it'll ever happen again, don't worry," he bit back the 'unfortunately'.

He grinned at the mention of his apology. "Heeey, it's a beautiful drawing! Come here I need to add hair to stick-me, last thing I want is people thinking I'm bald," he got his pen ready, reaching for Theo's arm.

"Well I consumed something très dodge yesterday so I can't talk," Theo replied with a shrug. "Wish I could remember what it was though."

He smirked and stifled a yawn. "You know, to be honest, I think I'm most pissed off that you woke me up than anything else, and I'm not even mad about that. You're so lucky to have a mate like meeeee. And what do you mean it won't happen again? Not going to be a gentleman, or... You didn't run out on her did you?"

Though any bad thoughts faded from his mind as Claude took his arm again, causing him to laugh. "Are you not bald? Oh gosh, disaster! I think you've made me look less attractive and you more. Oi, give me some abs to reflect my machoness." He flexed his free arm.

"What did you do yesterday while I was gone all day? I missed you so much. It was horrific, having no Theo-time all day. Though from the fact you drank something 'très dodge' I'm assuming you won't remember that much of it."

Claude was glad to hear that Theo wasn't pissed off about it though. Though as soon as he threw the next question, Claude could feel the colour drain from his face. "Well, define 'run out on her'."

"Abs? Machoness? What is this?" Claude did attempt to draw some kind of muscle-ish-looking-thing on Theo's stick figure arms. "Like that? Does it please your highness?"

"My Claude-lite day must have been awful, it's a good job I was high as a kite or drunk as a skunk or you know, comatose or whatever I was so I don't remember," Theo replied with a grin. "No one to entertain me or sing with me or drink relatively safely with me," he said, smiling.

"Running out as in being a stereotypical Dick head who leaves her while she's sleeping in a panic?" he defined, raising his eyebrows. "I think I'm going to say something to you that I've never said before. You're such a boy, Claude."

He grinned at the drawing, trying not to laugh at how tickly it felt. "Yes thank you, Philip. You could add a tutu to your stickman and it would be peeeeeeeerfect!"

Claude chuckled at Theo's reply, not surprised that he didn't remember anything from the way he was describing it. "I'll make it up to you by getting considerably drunk tonight and singing as loud and for as long as I can. Or you know, until you knock me out with a mallet or something."

Man he was just full of grimaces and cringing today, wasn't he? "At least someone's finally called me a boy? Usually I get told I'm such a girl," he ran a hand through his hair. "It's not like I'm never going to see her again. I'll go round later and stuff. I was more concerned with not getting caught...and panicking. I'm sorry."

"I am drawing the line at a tutu. No way. I'll dance like a balerina, I won't dress up at one," well, there had to be a point that he wouldn't cross somewhere.

"Yes, deal," Theo said, offering his hand to seal it with a shake. "Though if I hit you over the head with a mallet and kill you I might cry. When will I have my Claude time then?"

Theo raised his eyebrows but didn't drag it out. He trusted that Claude would go back. He just hoped Rhea didn't chew him out or end up burying him under the patio. That wouldn't be so great.

"You can do ballet?" he asked with a grin. "Ooooh, why haven't I seen this? We could put on a performance when we're both smashed and it would be great and we'd make money and let's be honest, I could rock a leotard," he added in a joking tone. "Mind you, I'm not sure why I'm surprised, you being an artistic gymnast and everything."

"Make sure you don't kill me," Claude advised with amusement laced in his voice. "Or, you know, don't hit me with a mallet? You don't have to do everything I tell you do."

Claude was greatful when Theo didn't push the topic of him being a dick. Though the look on his friend's face wasn't one he was exactly comfortable with. As if he didn't feel bad enough already, Theo was now giving him the guilt trip without even saying anything. Dude he fucked this one up a bit.

"Of course I can do ballet! Honestly, what kind of artistic gymnast do you take me for, Theo?" he tossed the pen over his shoulder and stood. He'd put it away later. "I'm really hungry. Like, I just have this sudden need to eat loads of food."

"It's cos you're hungover. Or still drunk. I'm not sure what I am, I might settle for dead, you know?" He smirked a little before outstretching his hands. "Come on, Darcey Bussell, give us a hand up and I'll buy us some bacon sarnies. Daddy sent some money, don't you know. I think it's 'for the love of God, Theo, get a girlfriend' money," he added with a grin.

Bacon was sounding more and more appealing. And funnily enough, so were sausages. "Hey, hey, Art said there's a swimming pool somewhere on site. Bacon sarnie and baywatch? Or you know, we could watch actual Baywatch on tv. I just need a serious dose of Claude time!"

"So long as you're still able to drink, dead's good enough for me," Claude agreed with a grin. "I'm totally hungover and not still drunk. Me? Drunk? Never. I'm as sober as you are virgin."

He jumped up and took hold of Theo's hands at the sound of bacon. "I love your dad. And hey, bacon sarnies for me is totally a good investment on the girlfriend front. Gotta keep your wing-man happy, right? Exactly."

"There is a swimming pool. We've been here how many years now, Theo?" Claude gave him a disapproving look. "Really, I'm disappointed that you haven't suggested we do this before. You're the ideas man, not me," ideas were like...effort. "I am perfectly happy to go locate this swimming pool. Or watch you try to. It'll be an adventure! The Adventures of Theo and Clarice!"

"Excuse me, I come up with the ideas, you can do the exploration. Unless you fancy carrying me there. I have like no energy at all. Especially seeing as somebody woke me up." He narrowed his eyes before grinning toothily as he was pulled to his feet. "Ugh, you do? I don't. Well yes. I kid, I love him. But still, you want him, you can have him! Plus I don't think he'll love you for defiling his little girl, mate. And I am totally a virgin. Can't you smell my virginity? It's like a perfume."

"I knew it!" Theo muttered, before folding his arms. "Well. Let's go find this mysterious pool. Give me a piggyback Clarice. Or wait, should it be me carrying you? Cos you know, I'm taller. And totes more masculine and macho. Look at these bad boys." He flexed his non-existent muscles again brightly.

“Aw, Theo, it’s not fun if I know where it is. So boring,” Claude whined, though he couldn’t hide his grin for long. “And I didn’t defile his little girl,” wait, how was that going to crop up in a conversation with Mr Capulet. “I wasn’t really aware that anyone was going to tell your dad that I slept with his daughter. You know, that seems like a strange thing to tell someone. I don’t think we should do that.”

Claude rolled his eyes, squeezing down on Theo’s arm, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Oh yeah, so sexy. Well, if you’re so convinced that you can carry me, turn round. Come on, macho man, show me what you got.”

He kind of hoped Theo agreed. And at the same time not because he feared for his life.

"Well, I probably won't tell him, providing I'm not intoxicated. And besides, if I'm intoxicated I think he'd be more concerned about the fact that I was intoxicated. I might throw up on his reputation or whatever."

"Oh you're so hot, Claude, you like, make my legs turn to jelly," Theo teased with a grin, before raising his eyebrows. "Oooh, kinky," he said as he was asked to turn around, before laughing. "Do I need to stoop for you to jump on? Short-arse." Not that he was much taller than Claude. He just quite liked the idea of having height. That might have been another problem, that and the grinning. "Of course I can carry you! I'm so macho."

"Your father sounds delightful," Claude said, fake-happiness in his voice. "Though I am glad to know I can trust you to keep my secrets from your father. I was so worried, thinking that you wouldn't be able to, you gossiping woman you."

"Stop it, you're making me blush!" he gave the hand gesture and all, fanning his face. "Though we all know it to be true. And it's not you being too tall so much as me being worried about falling if I have to try too hard."

Claude grasped Theo's shoulders, climbing kind of awkwardly onto his back, jumping slightly to wrap both legs round Theo's waist. "Onward piggy!"

"He is, he's the best thing ever!" Theo replied, grinning, before letting his jaw drop at what Claude called him next. "I am not a gossiping woman!" he exclaimed. "I'm just a very chatty woman, me."

"Well, you are a little bit smashed, honeybunch!" Theo said, laughing as Claude clambered onto his back, before jumping to push him further up. "Fuck, boy, you heavy. Well. Not really. And fine! Onwards!"

It was alright, actually, a teenage boy trying to run with another teenage boy on his back. As long as he paused to jump and hoist Claude up every now and again, it was alright. Although Theo had to admit that it was getting gradually harder. "Bacon buttie?" he asked, wondering which direction he should go, before bursting into laughter. "I have fucking guns of steel."

“Sorry, Mr Very-Chatty-Woman, don’t know how I made that mistake. The two things are so incredibly different and never linked in any way. And I’ll have you know that I am perfectly sober. Though it would really help if I could actually remember how much alcohol I had last night. And it’s all muscle weight, I’ll have you know. No fat on this beast of a man.”

This was amazing. He had to try to stifle laughter every now and then when he was hoisted up. It was still amazing though. When thequestion of Bacon Butties was brought up again, Claude pointed in the general direction of where food usually was. “That way! And you do. You’re spectacular. You’re like fucking superman. I think I’m in love with you. Or at least until
you put me down and I have to walk again.”

"That's okay, my special little gymnast," Theo replied in a similar tone. "Pfft. You are smashed. Hammered. Gazebo'ed. Drunk as a skunk. I am never drunk. I am always as sober as anything."

"Good, good, and so you should be," Theo said, jumping and hoisting his best mate up again. Wow. It was lucky he'd fallen asleep in his clothes really, running around in pyjamas would be slightly more embarrassing. Well. Theo wouldn't have been that embarrassed. And his clothes were creased to high heavens. He also had some peculiar grass stains on the knees of his jeans that he couldn't recall getting. Oh well.

"Gosh. If I was a girl we'd have totally gotten together by now," he said, before pausing thoughtfully. "Is it too early to make an inappropriate joke about you and my sister?"