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 I;m like a fucking elephant

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Rhea Capulet
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PostSubject: I;m like a fucking elephant   Sun Apr 28, 2013 9:28 am

Rhea pushed the door to Theo's room open, not being able to really knock. "Please be wearing clothes, I cannot cover my eyes." she said as she entered, holding the box of pizza and box of doughnuts up in the air. "I brought food so keep the insults to a minimum, also I hope you've got alcohol."

She put the two boxes on the empty bed and plopped down beside them. "Is Artie home yet do you know? I couldn't stop by his and Radley's and check because of the food." she was still a bit shaken up from their visit at the Hospital the other day, but thankfully Artemis was fine and had woken up sooner than expected.

She opened the pizza box, pulling out a slice for herself. "I'm so going to regret eating this. Also-" she looked around, raising her eyebrows. "Where's Claude? I swear he's never here when I want to get drunk with you."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Sun Apr 28, 2013 9:52 am

Theo, who had been trying to find an excuse not to do work and had instead spent an afternoon watching One Tree Hill, looked up as his sister entered, grinning. "Aw yiss. Good call. And what makes you assume I have alcohol? I do, but that's not the point."

"He's getting there, he'll be out soon, hopefully," Theo replied. "I hope he's out soon. If I have to phone Dad again I will be forced to shoot myself." He pushed himself up off of his stomach to make room for Rhea to sit, before folding his arms.

"You wanna get drunk with me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Wow. You're so cool. Not that I'm saying no. Just what's the occasion?"

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Sun Apr 28, 2013 10:14 am

"Don't you always?" Rhea gave her brother a look. "Here have some of the pizza I'm feeling sick just looking at it. I've also brought doughnuts which is ridiculous and I'll have to go to the gym in the morning and-" she stopped. Maybe she was still a bit stressed out after everything. "It's extra-cheese, you should really have some."

Rhea bit her lip. Memories of their time at the hospital weren't pleasant. She hadn't even survived her first minute in the room with her brother. "You don't think Daddy and Mother are going to leave without saying goodbye, right?" not that she wanted to admit it but she had kind of missed her parents. And not just because her father loved to spoil her rotten. "You'd do the world a favour really," she added, winking at her brother. "But I'm thinking one brother at the hospital at a time, okay?"

"Do you feel special?" Rhea mocked, before sighing. How was she going to explain herself? "I don't know. Heather's been absent and off somewhere, I don't know what she's doing or with who and just..." she took a bite from her pizza. "Promise me we won't go drink anywhere else than in here tonight. Nowhere near cars."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Thu May 02, 2013 7:33 am

"I'll have pizza, I fucking love pizza," replied Theo, tearing a piece for himself and biting into it. "Mmm. That's so good. Right. Shut up for a moment and eat the pizza because oh my God, pretend I never said this but for fuck's sake you are not fat. Right, that's the only time I'm ever going to say that. Take note."

Theo shrugged, snorting. "I haven't actually seen 'Daddy' and Mom since they arrived. I have had some interesting phone conversations with 'Daddy' though. Oh God, Rhea, if he didn't hate me already I think I've fucked it right up now." He grinned slightly at the thought. "Anyway."

"So I'm your last resort?" Theo didn't mind really. After what had been happening recently, it would be quite nice to drink with someone who was going through what he was, and with the exception of Claude, no one seemed to quite understand exactly how he was feeling right now. "Fine, come on, let's be cool and get pissed. If only we were normal siblings, eh?"

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Thu May 02, 2013 8:23 am

Rhea frowned, "I'm maybe not that fat now but I can become fat." she pouted a little. "And then I'd feel awkward being naked in front of someone because I'd actually be worried about not being sexy and can you imagine how that would feel?" Totally not shallow.

"Are you mocking me?" she gave him a look. "No, gosh tell me you didn't? What have you done now? What did you say to him?" Theo and her Dad just wouldn't stop fighting would they? Not that she really really minded seeing as that meant her place as favourite was really secure.

"Basically," Rhea grinned a little, brushing off her earlier thoughts about Artemis and drinking and cars. "Does this mean we can play games again? Do we need to refresh our lists from last time we got drunk here together?" her grin grew. "Because I'm up for that!"

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Thu May 02, 2013 8:50 am

"Because that's all that matters," Theo began, before he realised that that did seem to be a large proportion of what mattered. "You can eat some pizza though, right? That surely won't hurt?" He took another bite of pizza, humming slightly. "Orgasmic."

He still felt terrible, really. Or at least, he should. "Picture if you will me answering the phone slightly hungover to our father. I told him I was busy converting innocent guys to the ways of the homosexual through misdemeanours while I drugged nuns to keep in my basement and that I was training my illegitimate kids how to kill people. Only he called to tell me that Artie was in hospital." That had been pretty awkward. "I'm just waiting for it. For the lecture. I'm so so excited to be told about the horrors me and my kind are committing. Oh my God, though, worst phone call ever. Maybe I should hold fire next time."

"No, don't remind me of last time. You had a far better time than I did, Missy." Still, the getting drunk had been fun. "Fine. We need to get cracking on the booze though, just to break us in."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Fri May 03, 2013 8:49 am

"It kind of is," Rhea pointed out, "I'm eating it, aren't I?" she frowned. "But its all cheese and fatness and-" she stopped herself again. "It's because I haven't been having sex in a while that I'm like this, isn't it?"

She gasped. "No! No you didn't! Theo what the fuck is wrong with you? He's going to kill you." she shook her head. "You're such a dickhead, honestly. What are you wanting from him? Well, maybe he'll be pissed off enough to make sure he'll double my money this month and leave nothing for you," she smiled sweetly. "But have you talked to Mum? Surely she'll make sure he doesn't slaughter you and she actually likes you, doesn't she? Then again I hope they don't try to come to campus. That would be shit messy."

Rhea grinned contently. "I did have a lot of fun that night." she sighed happily thinking of it. "But surely you've done some shady stuff to add on your list - or shady people, isn't that your style? Toss me a beer or something sweetums."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Sat May 04, 2013 9:23 am

"So foodgasm instead," Theo replied smartly, before grinning slyly. "Are you getting desperate? Wait no I'm not supposed to say that, am I? What I mean is 'God Rhea you're supposed to be a virgin like me', right? Right."

"Yeah, I know, I'm starting to think that maybe he's right and I do have a problem," Theo replied sheepishly. It had been a smidgen funny though. Just a tad. "I think we should start taking bets on when he'll kick me out. Mind you, I love Mum. I haven't though, have you?" He didn't think he could manags talking with his mum considering the situation, despite Theo having always gotten on better with her.

Oh. Here they went. "Shady people don't count," he said, shaking his head in disagreement at his sister, reaching to grab her a can. "What do you define as 'my style'?"

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Sat May 04, 2013 10:07 am

"That was maybe the worst pun you've ever let out your mouth," Rhea said, shaking her head. "I'm ashamed of you. Also you're ruining my innocence again," she did grin at that however. "I shouldn't be here drinking with you when I can be out there having sex, should I?"

"You're starting to think? Starting? You definitely have a lot of problems, also why can't you just lieeee Theo? It's not that hard! I can do it! Do you think I'd be the favourite if I was so open with the fact that I fuck all the time? Uh no." she finished the slice of pizza from earlier, not really regretting it anymore. "I haven't really talked to either of them, dramatic conversation about death and almost death and comas and shit isn't really what I enjoy talking about. I'm sure Daddy'll give me an apology present if they leave with telling me, anyway."

"Oh, let me think..." Rhea said, patting mockingly on her nose as she pretended to think about it. "Anything with any kind of genitalia."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Sun May 05, 2013 10:35 am

"Bonding with your brother is a thousand times more important than sex!" Theo replied in mock shock. "At least I think I've had sex more times than I've spoken to you, so bonding should be more important. Drinking is important at least. I'm just gonna stop talking."

Theo raised his eyebrows and gasped indignantly. "I do lie!" he said, folding his arms. "Or you know, I avoid the truth. They still don't know about the smoking or the... other stuff. And you didn't know that either until you got me drunk. Oh my God, is that what you do? Get boys drunk? Crafty bitch."

He rolled his eyes, but smirked. "My favourite kind of shady then," he muttered, before shaking his head. "You're not supposed to know what that word means, Rhea. Gosh."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Sun May 05, 2013 10:10 pm

"Ew. Please do shut up. I have no interest in knowing how often you've had sex, I just like to know with how many people, is that so hard to wrap your head around?" she frowned. "I feel like I shouldn't be in this room anymore, this room is poison."

"How do they not know about the smoking, by the way?" Rhea raised her eyebrows. "Probably because they can't smell you, though sometimes I swear the stench could travel half way over the country." she shook her head, grinning cheekily at her brother. "Oh yes, that's what I do, I get boys drunk and then take advantage of them, easy preys aren't they?"

Rhea gave her brother a look. "Oh would you prefer it if I didn't? Big brother Theeooo," she said in a whiny mocking child tone. "What is intercourse and why do people have it? I never want to kiss a boy because boys have cooties! Can I please suck on a lollipop? And that wasn't a metaphor, unless you want it to be."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Mon May 06, 2013 8:25 am

"You should take an interest in your brother's life, even if that is admittedly far too much of an interest," Theo replied, grinning. "You came in here, you can just as easily leave. You can leave my booze and the pizza though, gorgeous."

"I gave up the smoking for ages it's fucking Alyssa's fault," Theo said, pouting. "My lungs are so fucked. They must be like, black now. And my liver. Basically I'm just like a walking disaster. I think I might fall apart if I'm not careful."

He smirked and shook his head. "You go suck lollipops, Rhee. I'll go suck other things. Ohhhhhh yes I did." He winked at her, before crossing his legs beneath him. "Go on then. Lollipops. First one?"

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Mon May 06, 2013 10:28 am

"So are you saying you want me to ask how often you've fucked? Are you really saying that? Do you really want me to ask? Do you? Do you? I don't think you do. I can if you want me to, we know which one of us is more easily broken by these kinds of conversations." she wrapped an protective arm around the alcohol. "I'm not leaving my babies."

Rhea rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're real good at giving up, aren't ya?" she gave him a look. "Reid couldn't have forced you to start again, also I would've thought you could've kept yourself clean for your husband's sake," talking about Claude was weird. Why did she bring him up. "He doesn't smoke does he? Why are you poisoning his life with your bad habits and mannerisms?" Subject chaaaange. "Also, I want to add that I'm impressed that you haven't fallen apart already and everything down there is working still."

"Can we at least share the special lollipops?" Rhea grinned. Oh they had such a twisted relationship. "Okay," she sat up straight. "Lets play a game! Like last time, where I ask a question and then you can ask a question and I automatically win for being pretty." she drank some more of her beer quickly. "Need to get drunk for this. Last time we had this conversation dearest brother you had nine people on your list, does it need to be refreshed? Lying is punishable by death, by the way."

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Fri May 31, 2013 8:53 am

"She totally forced me," Theo defended himself, before pondering her question. "He actually doesn't smoke, which is damn weird when you think about it, considering he's French. Weird, huh?"

It took all his effort not to spit his drink out. "It... No, you know what, I don't have to answer your dumb questions. I'm not a slut. I just like sleeping with people. That's healthy." He nodded smartly and pointed at her. "What about your list? I hope it's stayed the same for 'my husband's' sake, Rheolish. God, I wish I really had a husband," he added in a mutter.

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PostSubject: Re: I;m like a fucking elephant   Fri May 31, 2013 9:09 am

"Not that werd actually, not everyone smokes even if French." Rhea spoke quickly, not really fancying this subject much, for it included too much Claude for her liking. "You're just messed up, cos you see you dont see me smoking! Or Artemis! So clearly you're the odd one out with the bad bad smoking, I bet you want to be French!"

He was hiding something, that was for sure but she didn't really get much time to ponder what it could be when he'd asked her a question. He knew, didn't he? Like, they'd never actually talked about her and Oliver having sex but surely Theo knew? Or had at least noticed something was up with her and Claude because they weren't talking. And this was Theo - he so knew. "If you're not answering my question I'm not answering yours. We can just move on to another one, if you prefer."

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